livin the dream

2012-02-10T08:24:00.004-05:00

I've been listening to Jen Lee's "The Iconic Self" CD set...you can read my feelings about "self-help" type of things in my post a few back. This video has been snatched from Jen's blog, (with permission) found here. the truths she gently brings out are SMACK full of stuff. this one in particular made me realize that my recent dry spell in the studio is, in part, coming from trying so hard to meet expectations - of myself, of my mentors, of the gallery - and that somewhere in there, my natural flow was being crippled. this morning, i listened to this short video, then went to let diva out back. it was 4am. and i have this large piece i've been working on (well, was working on months ago - now it just laughs & taunts me) sitting on a table in my studio...the first thing i see when i walk in the door to the studio. and i have some text i want to add to it, but just couldn't bring myself to. it just seemed too jarring & obvious, but it was what the inspiration for the piece (and a series of pieces i had planned) was about...but for some reason i just couldn't work up the enthusiasm. so this morning, with this video getting me thought up, i grabbed some scrap wood and just began to smear every manner of art supply on it...just to force my hands to work...the muscle memory. and then went outside again for a smoke break, and saw the sun was starting to come up, and i tell you the only way to describe the sky is in cliche and words not even sufficient...because it was not a sky that had been created for words, just for the senses. so to say the clouds were like pink cotton candy against a baby blue sky is as ridiculous as saying the Mona Lisa is a painting of a woman using dark tones. and as i took it all in, a thought made it's way past the barbed wire wall that has held my creativity hostage for these months, and bam! it hit me like The Original Thought. and i realized that the text would, indeed, cheapen the intention of the piece...that it was meant to be more of a conversation with the senses, than an emotional outburst of a specific topic...that the interpretation of the piece was meant to be individual, with each viewer bringing his or her history to it. i know what the piece is about for me, but that is secondary to what i feel my expression of art should be. so. there you have it. all dragged out under a cotton candy sky in the wee hours of the morning, with indescribable pain shooting through my knees and ankles. all dragged out by a quick little video made by gentle-voiced BAMF from Brooklyn. do not underestimate this woman...she holds deep truths.

2012-02-10T07:48:00.002-05:00

this morning
i noticed the clouds were pink against the blue sky
as the hint of morning dawned
weaving through the charcoal fingers of the sleeping maple
cocooned
alone with the cardinal
i drank it in
body soul spirit
and my hands recited the poetry
against the stark white

2012-02-08T06:55:00.003-05:00

my goal: to take a workshop with this incredible artist, Daniella Woolf

There's been a lot of shaking and moving in the studio the past few days...mostly inner work...as I get down & dirty with art supplies, I've been listening to Jen Lee's CD's "The Iconic Self." I suppose I thought "Well let's see what this is about, but I doubt there's anything new-to-my-old-soul on it." ok, who was wrong? anyone? Buehler? it is a lovely, delicate, strong, matter-of-fact-but-loaded-gun work that (when i least expect it) touches something in me. She recorded this along with Phyllis Mathis, and it will be going along tra-la-la-interesting anecdote-gentle gentle, then WHAT DID YOU SAY??? bam. a truth hits home. and i realize that you never really stop learning...there isn't ever a point where you have it all figured out. i always thought there was a time in your life where you'd sit back and say "*deep exhale* whew. glad that's done! I now have it all figured out, so i can spend the rest of my life nodding sagely & knowingly at everyone else." because i've been blessed with a stream of strong women in my life (many blessings upon you Penny) who have just seemed so in control of themselves, and have lived the life i aspire to, i misled myself into thinking that they had it all together. they didn't, but that doesn't make them any less strong, wonderful, vulnerable, role model material, beautiful, giving, kind...you get the idea. they still had their challenges, for sure. they just dealt with them with confidence and grace. they picked a direction and moved forward, trusting that they would handle any unintended excitement along the way. One such woman shocked SHOCKED everyone by announcing she was divorcing her husband of 23 years. she had waited until the last of her kids was out of high school and off to college, then moved on with her life on her terms. no one ever knew she was that unhappy in her marriage until that day. she had made a choice to not disrupt her kids' life, and went about her days in grace and happiness, for it was her choice to do so. then, she packed her bathing suit, some family pictures, her Amex card, and moved to a more tropical locale. just like that. i haven't seen her in many years (she was the mother of my ex-boyfriend) but her daily examples of how to live a gracious life took root in me...if a family was struggling, she would anonymously get help to them...when her kids were enrolled in a dance class, and another family was falling behind on their tuition, she quietly paid it, and bought new dance gear for their kids. she raised her kids in generosity of spirit and gentleness in their dealings with Any Other People. i remember her kindnesses to me at a time of great difficulty in my life...her giving was much more than financial. i was considered a part of the family...just sort of folded in to the loud, fantastic, world that was their family.
I'm not sure why i'm off on this tangent, but there you have it. today, i will be more gracious. today i will be more kind. today i will ask myself, "What Would Penny Do?"

synapse balloon

2012-02-07T20:56:00.001-05:00

lightly tethered drift
between yes and no, or not
or just standing still......

2012-02-06T06:48:00.006-05:00

wow - what a difference the alphabet makes - at least when you're talking vitamins! last week i started taking a good multivitamin, along with my prescription D, wowa. the energy was amazing (compared to my recent state of sloth-like being, anyway). and i finally started making again....9 new necklaces for Valentine's Day (2 of which sold the first moment they hit the gallery), and errands completed.

There's been an owl stalking me. i swear. last wednesday, she flew over my head - very closely - as i walked diva. the next night, there was such an owl racket up in one of the trees behind my house, as 2 of them argued about something. then friday night, diva went out back to go potty, and being the private pooper that she is, headed to The Dark Spot behind a tangle of trees. but she stopped and just stood there, frozen. i thought, "uh oh - skunk," and raced over to her, thinking/not thinking i would grab her and go. just then a huge barred owl took flight from less than a foot away, swooped us, then settled in a tree nearby. i love owls, am fascinated by how their bodies and inclinations work, but by God they better not try to eat my diva. she stayed in the tree looking down at us, as i scooped poor diva up and ran for the door (remembering that once their talons lock in, they cannot release them till their prey goes limp). yes, i like my predators a little further away, thank you. I've also been gifted a mass of porcupine quills to make some jewelry from, thanks to Pork Chop (who i renamed Fontaine secretly). (what is your secret name, by the way?)
all this nature in my face lately. Owls ask us to spend quiet time in the dark and listen to our intuition...they bring power and clarity of sight. Porcupines tell us we're protected, and herald magical abilities. so what the heck is coming?? hopefully a lottery win.
i feel my creativity starting to bubble again, and am excited about what will show up...
wishing you a magical day, protected from the slings and arrows that may cross your path....

divorce

2012-02-04T19:38:00.002-05:00

Dear Google,
Get out of my private business, thank you very much. Your new "privacy" policy is just a head's up that you'll be taking information
you've already collected about me, and distributing it to people YOU trust. really? what if I don't trust them? can I opt out? can I say "wipe me out of your files" ? it appears not. and because you've insinuated yourself into my daily life - including the cell phone I own - all i can do is limit the damage by using Bing, and yes, using a different platform for this blog. do we have a voice in this? nope. pretty scary when you think about it. is anyone on the other end of your 800 number? nope. tried to get customer service to try to figure out a continuous error on my cell phone. so, as best as i can - i'm divorcing you google.

2012-02-02T20:04:00.002-05:00

isn't it just the way things go? Orders are coming in left, right, and centerfield JUST at the time I decided to return to my Big Girl Job part time...the solitary studio walls were getting to me big time, and really how many times can you go through your iPod list in a day? The offer was tempting me for a while, and soon i realized that my website can run itself, and i will still have time to create...the scheduling is that good. strangely, i felt sad at first to return. i don't do change easily. and i wondered if i was giving up, or maybe being lazy by letting someone else (a corporation) worry about paying the bills. but i realized that, more than anything, i need human interaction on a regular basis. and this half in/half out configuration will supply that. and if i had a list of things i would want to do if i HAD to work outside the studio, then i have to say the list was fulfilled. so, my studio is still operational...my website is still operational...my creative time is still there, just shifted...and yes, i am very happy to make you a necklace or collage. anytime!

(for peeps in the Syracuse area...I will be delivering a limited number of one-of-a-kind Valentine inspired necklaces to Szozda Gallery this weekend!)

ahh. so i guess it is possible to have it all!

2012-01-31T20:07:00.003-05:00

(photo by Bates Littlehales, NatGeo)

yes, it's true. i have been battling ferociously against torpor...that sneaky, pea soup in the brain feeling...the feeling that you are trying to run a race through thigh-high wet cement. grickly grackly mind-numbing. and crabby, but i've managed to keep that inside, so as not to do irreparable harm to relationships i care deeply about. it can't possibly be leftover from the Grim Creeping Death that had me down since October. i'm just not sure what the heck is going on.
tonight, i stopped in to wander the halls of the Delavan, and soak up some of that artistic mojo that hangs in the air, and i realized how long it's been since i was there, and how long it's been since i've created anything for the sake of creating it. way too long. my bones feel dry with it...my frustration leeches out onto the canvas...small dribs and drabs that are quickly covered up with gesso.
inspiring post tonight, no?
but this is my sounding board...my place for my fingers to take over and tell me what my brain has been hiding from me.
this morning, i got my daily email from Brian Andreas StoryPeople, and thought, " this. is. it."

Waiting for the pen to dry up so he can start fresh with thoughts that are worth new ink.

yes. i had complained that i was tired of doing the same-ish artwork...that i needed a new direction. so a palate-cleansing time was set in order, is what i believe. except i forgot to feed my spirit...forgot to keep the windows of my soul polished and open to let in warm breezes and bright sunshine...forgot to keep the wicks of my candle trimmed.
so tonight, a porcupine reminded me that we all have built-in checks-and-balances that are natural functions of our beings...before we get too close to taking a left when we should stay straight ahead, our warning bells will go off. in my case, they hit the gear shift into neutral. there is a reason, i am certain, for this staying in place. not sure what, yet, but i know i also need to open the windows.
so, the porcupine gave me many gifts tonight. they are interesting souls...they like to climb trees, but are very clumsy, so nature granted them a survival tool that they need do nothing to activate - when they fall, (and they do with regularity), a naturally occurring antibiotic is released into the quill, and basically injected into their own bodies. so they fall, but do not die from infection. you can connect the dots from the natural to the spiritual here.
In some Native American teachings, the porcupine represents protection - from both outside attack and from inner spiritual attack (the tricks our mind plays on us, or the untruths we tell ourselves). little porcupine is a peaceful animal, yet protects himself fiercely if pushed too far.
Porcupine gave me some other gifts tonight, but more on that in a few days.
some new stuff began burbling...new ideas...new designs...new materials to work with. and sooner than soon, i hope to share those with you. for now, a nap is in order...a long night is ahead.

perfect weekend

2012-01-30T09:38:00.006-05:00

went here:

with these two - that make my heart swell with love & pride...
(not such a great picture - see explanation below)

happened upon a rust garden:

and by the 3rd floor, felt less like a hoarder:

but wanted it ALL!

a perfect weekend in Albany and Saratoga...incredible food, wonderful shopping, peacefulness, seeing PSD shine as she has become her own woman. She is amazing.
Fell in love with handsome husband again, too! (not such a great picture but a shaky phone at dark after key lime martinis...it's as good as it will be.

poor diva spent the weekend at Camp Grandma's with tummy trouble, but bulimia cat got to stay home with the full attention of Uncle Brian. there is much love and sadness that he is not here to pet & play, apparently.
today - cold & snow. yesterday - mild, sweater/no coat. go figya.
am planning to get work & errands done, then spend a quiet afternoon with some Constant Comment tea, and Jen Lee's Iconic Self CD's...eyes closed, feet up, soaking in the goodness.
wishing you a cozy day filled with creativity and sparkly surprises!

2012-01-27T08:21:00.003-05:00

The very purpose of spirituality is self-discipline. Rather than criticizing others, we should evaluate and criticize ourselves. Ask yourself, what am I doing about my anger, my attachment, my pride, my jealousy? These are the things we should check in our day to day lives.

with love from the Dalai Lama

yes yes yes. i know. and i have the mark on my forehead from where the words hit me. not so much acting like an ass, but feeling moody and yes, i guess angry. at who? at what? when push comes to shove, who knows? (hmmmm - push comes to shove...a lovely & peaceful phrase).
I do know this...when something is wrong wrong wrong for me to do, or there is a person that is not quite what they represent, my internal radar goes off big. and i feel such a strong emotional response toward that person or path or decision, that it borders on repulsion. (more lovely visuals). not "repulsion" in the gag reflex way - but more like a force field pushing me away. that's the best way i can describe it. i have felt this toward people who i now call "friend," but at that time and place, it was important for some reason that i Not Go There. it is such a definite NO! that hits my system, that to go forward would be such an obvious mistake. (not that i haven't boldly put my shoulder to the hurricane and pushed into the storm before). but there has been such a chain of these NO NO NO's lately, as everything shifts, it has made me downright grouchy at times. so i had to sit with my inner tantrum this morning to see what it was trying to tell me...i'm not normally a person to have expectations on other people's behavior or how they run their lives, but lately it seems that things have been so delineated - so black OR white - and i've been fighting against it inside...fighting to reclaim that part of me that lives-and-lets-live. so i went to have a chat with this inner tasmanian devil, no longer fearing what i'd find, (that maybe age has morphed me into a bitch), but more to untangle, unclog, put into perspective. and i began to remember how years ago, i had asked for a "clear and definite voice" to guide my feet on the right path. i am here to say that there is no clearer voice than the turbulence that gets itself all het up in me when there is something to avoid. and i had a sense as the new year dawned, that this year Big and Fast Changes were to be afoot. and so it seems they are. now that there has been all this clearing & purging of issues and material things, there is a void. and that void needs to be filled carefully...not just bringing in new stuff and re-filling it, but perhaps bringing back in only the essentials, and leaving some breathing space...some windows for the sun to peek in and glow around everything. i watched a new show called Touch the other night. In it, there is a child who hasn't spoken in 10 years or more - his whole life. and the father figures out how his son is actually communicating. and that's what i have to be quiet & peaceful with - what is my intuition and God trying to tell me? there are clear directions, if i listen, if i allow myself stillness. and it seems nothing will move forward until i do. i have a GPS in my car that i couldn't live without. but it just tells me the next turn to take. and i need the full map right now - the fold-out kind that never re-folds the way it should, but shows the whole route so you can plan potty breaks and stops at Interesting Sights. coincidentally, I just won a copy of Jill Berry's book "Personal Geographies," which is about mapping your life in art. i never win anything, and there was a huge huge pool of people on this webinar call. and i won. how's that for a clear bell? sorta like standing in the tower of Big Ben at noon. so this is what my stillness brought to me today. my uneasiness...feeling like a spider monkey on Mountain Dew... child-in-grocery-store-past-naptime inner tantrum - it seems it was a call to Be Quiet and Be Still and Be Thoughtful for a few minutes or so, and sort out the map...find the route and mark it in highlighter, THEN engage the GPS for turn-by-turn directions. and in that perspective, it will all work. even when the GPS says "cannot locate satellite. this will end directions temporarily," and i have to punt quickly or miss the entrance ramp.
wishing you clear sailing and warm breezes and maps that refold with ease....

2012-01-26T11:46:00.002-05:00

in my pile of purged things, i have a mountain of books. and some of them are actually duplicates of books i already owned, but had gotten buried in the dishevelment that had become my studio. so i think what i may do (while supplies last, as they say) is enclose a random book with every order from my website. if it's a book you already own, pass it on! most are technique books, some are novels or non-fiction or mysteries...a bunch o' stuff. if you don't want a book (because your studio likely iis stuffed with them!) just let me know.

poor diva has tummy trouble...running the stairs and out the door all night counts as exercise, right? i loaded some Forti Flora into a pill pocket for her last night finally, and hope that gets working soon. she is so sensitive to any change in the house, and with an unannounced "guest" showing up out of the blue last night, we all need some pill pockets loaded with something.

Today is busy with Becky Home-ecky stuff, which i am obviously procrastinating about. stepson loaded up the washer and left - for an hour? for the day? who knows? but it has definitely changed my schedule. ggrrr.

i'm working on a collage that excites me to no end. it's pretty large, and i'm taking my time with it - something i learned while attempting to draw. it does make a difference! and i still have the large marble plaster piece from the "Fissure" series staring at me. I have to get going on that one, because I need the table it's resting on. so far, bulimia cat has left that surface alone.

My brother is coming to stay with him/her this weekend, and i'm sure kitty will love the undivided attention! a new paper bag on the livingroom floor=many hours of fun.

okay - i have to dive into this vacuum/laundry drama before it's too late. Am also working diligently to finish some special orders for some heartfelt talisman necklaces. starting to get my shparkle back!

gentle spirit/badass MF

2012-01-24T10:21:00.004-05:00

if you've followed this blog for any amount of time, you've probably sensed an impatience i have with the recent slew of "finding yourself" guides/workshops/videos/self-proclaimed gurus. I have been in situations where well-intentioned, but woefully not qualified people have led a group of (usually) women through exercises to help them discover their inner fears or demons or what is blocking them from having some magical tra-la-la life. Like they are. except...there are times when the door is opened, and monsters rush out, but it's time for the workshop to be over bye bye. so these observed instances have colored my view of this desperate search for some reality that is Not Your Own. I have to say - sometimes your reality just plain sucks. or was never intended to be whatever it is you are trying to emulate...the friction may be that you are trying to live contrary to what your own path is. and it's up to you to see what can be changed and what can't, and it is not likely that you will suddenly become 30 pounds thinner and an Important Artist or Better Person In Touch With the Gods/Goddesses of your belief system by taking a quick class/workshop. i know - that sounds like i just contradicted myself - find the source but don't get help. nooo - get qualified help. and know the limitations of that source. sometimes, life just Is. It is in your day-to-day reactions and actions. and if you need to go deep, seek out someone who has the paper to do it with you.
ALL THIS BEING SAID.....i DO believe that there are tools you can use to help you work out some issues that may have cropped up - whether you use these in conjunction with a therapist or not is for you to determine.
One of the dearest people i have met is Jen Lee. she is sweet and thought-full and will freely admit (in her blog) that there is often not a bowl of cherries sitting there waiting for you. Life is messy, but that doesn't mean it can't also be rewarding and fun and soulful and moving right along. Today she launched a Home Retreat course called Your Iconic Self. It includes 4 discs, a tote bag, a bunch o' stuff, a tshirt, and some wisdom from Phyllis Mathis and Jen Lee. (she had me at Tshirt!). I trust her to dig up some thought-provoking insights for me. yes, i ordered it this morning. i'll keep you updated. do i think that all of my life's questions will be answered by disc 2? i hope not! then what is there to look forward to in life? but what i am hoping to find is a conversation...an opening, a prompt, an unfinished sentence where i can fill in a blank. these are not deep life struggles i am hoping to challenge and tackle...they are dust bunnies that come wisping out of the corners from time to time. and so far, this year has been all about recognizing targets and clearing them away - much like the Great Closet Cleansing of the past few weeks. (btw - we ended up with husband's van FILLED with stuff that we no longer used ... all that stuff clinging to our feet & slowing us down).
so the "Gentle Spirit Badass MF" title? that's one of the T-shirts you can choose when you sign up for the class :)
Whether or not you choose to sign up for a workshop of some sort with anyone, or do it on your own, or access the help of a good therapist, i wish you clean corners, and room for your feet to move.....

2012-01-23T08:37:00.002-05:00

isn't this the cutest brooch? Antique French - found at a consignment shop, and grabbed up for a song. the picture doesn't really show the background color well - it's less opal-ish...more of a solid color. Love that the bezel is a cat's open mouth!

I may be figuring out some things on this Mac yet - bought a 25 pound book, and have been studying it like the SAT preps. so i figured out the "adding photos" part, obviously.

Last night, while husband watched the games, I started sketching. I'm trying to teach myself how to draw portraits, which has been hit or miss - much like my cooking. Actually, I sit down with a sketch pad and pencil - and completely freeze. I had given up, not needing the negativity that the resounding failure-to-launch brought. but! Saturday, there was a Golden Artist Colors lecture/demo at the Art Store, (which i highly HIGHLY recommend and not just for the generous freebies they bring) and it sparked a small spark in me. this week, i'll be playing with tar gel, fiber paste and perhaps some skins and digital grounds. it's great to learn how to use all those products i have sitting around! after procuring The Last Bottle of iron oxide on the shelf, i wandered out of the melee toward the book/video section. they had a good selection of "art on demand" dvd's - one by Patricia Baldwin Seggebruch. I am just drooling to go to her Encausticamp, but that is a little budget-unfriendly for me right now. HOWEVER, she is coming to Kitchener, Ontario soon, and that is what has my heart palpitating. hello, Universe? umm yeah.
after composing myself, i looked through the books, and lo! There's a book called Faces & Features. perfect. in the cart.
Here are some first attempts at facial features. i plan to work on more today:

Not quite ready for prime time, but i'm pleased that you can probably tell those are eyes, and a nose and a mouth.
ok - into the shower and then to the woods - it's quite mild here today, having dodged the promised freezing rain and all manner of Armaggedon. Then - to the studio for some jewelry-making and sketching...ahhhh, that feels good to say...
wishing you a spark today ....

deeper, clearer

2012-01-20T22:00:00.002-05:00

this year has just started off with a bang, i tell you...clearly 2012 is not going to be a shy one. right out of the gate, things Happened...good things, bad things, but Things all the same...and they just haven't stopped. now i know what all that rest was needed for at the end of last year! last week, i spent Two Full Days vacuuming, dusting, purging, rearranging and otherwise reconstructing 2 closets upstairs...i went at it with the fanatical energy of a traveling preacher chasing sin down. and i'm pleased to report that i can now breathe/sleep in my own bedroom again. thusly inspired, i did a While you were out" type redecoration of the bedroom. husband had begged me to promise never to redo anything without him Ever Again following an ill-fated attempt to paint the kitchen red Red RED with Perfect Stepdaughter. but that was years ago, and i crossed my fingers when i sheepishly nodded my head affirmative. so it didn't count, right? but. but the room was so sparkly clean, but so taupe and dreary. and this caught my heart, and, well, you know the rest. yes i did. and i did warn husband before he got home...sent him a text picture. then made his favorite dinner. he really likes it. the room. so inspired, i continued on - a Big Boy night stand for him (replacing the rickety telephone stand he's been using - crammed with alarm clock and a coalminer-type headlamp he insists on using to read at night), and a pair of antique lamps i found at a garage sale - gorjus cut glass base - got new shades and wowa! our old headboard didn't fit in the new bedroom when we moved into this house - it being a 4-poster huge tall thing, and the wall slants in like a cape cod-ish style. (i am laughing my pants off here because autocorrect changed that to "codfish!") we never got around to getting a new headboard, and since it may be a while yet, i bought some "Wall Words" rub ons that say "Always kiss me goodnight" to put on the wall. i may never leave this room. i'll need a pretty good reason why. but that's all good. mom & i are in tense mode, having spoken some truths yesterday
that cut through quite a lot of smoke & mirrors, we have gone to our seperate corners to get stitched up and sent back into the ring. it seems that a lot of things are being laid bare in many areas of my life, and in the lives of friends. strange times, for certain. black and white with no gray...and the lines clearly drawn between what is acceptable and what is not... piles of useless or unused stuff laying around in corners of the house, and corners of the heart...no longer waiting patiently to be cleared, but revealing themselves and demanding action be taken. i have cleaned every nook of this physical house throughout the past few weeks - not setting out to, but one thing leads to another, it seems. and so it begins with the heart, as well. the year has whipped up a vortex of demands that corners be swept - sooner rather than later - and everything be set right and proper in it's place...no room for the unnecessary, travel with lightness, leaving space for the brilliance of sudden sunlight to blaze through...change, for certain, has begun. and with the dawn of the new year, i believe that this dusting, polishing, organizing, will reveal quite a lot...will show many things for what they truly are...treasures some, others not. i've gone deeper in my daily meditations...listening...asking...watching...for i don't want to misstep or overcorrect, yet want to keep pace with the broom.
thoughtful times.
wishing you richness...

2012-01-18T08:09:00.002-05:00

the past few weeks (months?) have been such a sharp change for me...i was sick with bronchitis that turned to pneumonia from october through december. during that time, i could do little but change the channel on the TV and sleep through another episode of whatever happened to be on the screen. as i began to recover, and got my hearing back, (sinus problems blocked my ears), i had no inclination to get back into the studio. none. telling myself that i was still weak and needed rest, i continued to Not Be Creative. i had thoughts and dreams of some amazing pieces i wanted to create, and new materials i wanted to use, but i'd walk into my studio and feel heavy. then turn and leave. i'd look at half-finished projects hanging about in my studio and feel no inspiration whatsoever to finish them. the frustration in not being able to express myself is not easily described, and it was not always easy to be in this house with me. as you may have noticed, even my words deserted me, and my blog posts became few and far between. i began searching for an answer, deep within. was it just a time of rest? was it a time of creating a delineation between what was and what would be? was there a different path to take? (thank you Swirly, for bringing this video to light). what what what?? working alone in a studio is very isolating. after a while, you can anticipate the next song on the iPod - even on shuffle. you can almost believe that your dog understands every single word you speak - especially after reading "The Art of Racing in the Rain." I am still casting about for answers. out of the blue, I've received requests for new Squam 2012 necklaces, and that was an incredibly bright light...it got my hands working again in familiar ways. and helped me get a glimmer of what it is that drives me to the studio...to make beautiful things for specific people. not to mass produce or market or splash things about on facebook or twitter or wherever. but to make something filled with love and intention for a specific person. when i make a necklace or collage or painting or any piece of art that has a home to go to, invariably, i think about that person while i'm working the piece...meditate on the spirit of them, stay open to anything that may come up, say a prayer for them and send golden blessings to them during the creation process. that fills me, as it blesses them. and that is where this twinkle of a sparkle of an inkling is sending me, although i don't know where or why or when or how...i just know that i need to go even deeper into that process of creating. even writing this all down here is a sort of working-it-out process. i have watched so many people start out and see popularity in their ideas or creative works, and jump on the surfboard to ride the wave, all the while staying in that same spot - just getting louder or more "marketable," trying to be everything to everyone - all the while thinking they are growing. a following does not equal growth, i've found. and a message for the moment rings stale & inauthentic after a time. (i say this in random thought, and am not pointing a finger, or thinking of One Specific Person, so please don't be offended or hurt if you think i'm writing about you). I want to stay current - not with fads or trends or marketing plans or any other indicator of "success." i want to stay current with what my heart and spirit tell me is my path on my journey. when i first moved here 10 years ago, i carved out a path for diva and i to walk. and everyday (mostly!) we walk the same path into the woods, through the Echo Echo tunnel, around the Tree With Eyes, and the owl's nest, past the hawk's perch, around the lake and through the woods again past the Monkey Tree and Roxy's house. it is a beautiful walk during any season, with different birds chirping and a different treasure to tuck away in our hearts every time (the past 2 days, a fat Barred Owl has swooped over us Really Really close to my head). and even though diva gets to check her ever-changing pee-mail, the walk has become automatic...she knows the way by heart, as do i, and rather than enjoying the scenery, we walk the same trodden path out of habit. same with life. same with art. the past few weeks, diva has absolutely insisted on changing things up - to a degree - and tugs and pulls till i follow her. the same walk, but starting at the end and walking it backwards. and i think that was the message to my heart - follow the trail backwards to see it afresh - to find that sweet spot where the wonderment and absolute gusto reside. stop there and breathe in what i need from that spot, and before taking one baby step, look all around at the different variations of ways Home. pick a different way this time, in order to follow the same destination, but with renewed spirit and new things for my eye to see. i have never ever felt like i was being inauthentic with either my art making or my promotion of it, i guess. no matter how many orders jammed my email box, i never thought, "well, look at me!" my gift is my spirit. and that can't be sold or promoted. it is something that will either draw people in, or not. i am happy with Plenty & Enough, and when there is overflow, it gives me incredible pleasure to share the abundance. i doubt my bank account will ever be as fat as it has been in previous times of my life, because it just feels fearful and wrong to hold onto that abundance - fearful that it may go away, and wrong because there are so many incredible things that can be done with money...so many people to help. so i look at "abundance" differently now - more of a flow, than an accumulation.
on a similar but separate topic, i've received emails asking if i will be attending my annual Meeting of my Tribe in september. i will not be. i'm not sure why i feel that this year i belong at a different place, but that feeling is definite and strong. Un-ignorably strong. i spent quite some time sorting out my feelings about it, and worked through some pretty ugly and uncomfortable anger and grief and feelings of being quite expendable in an area where i felt like i was part of a whole. i tried to deny these feelings and move past them and proceed as usual. but my spirit simply would not allow me to "proceed as usual." so having gotten through the steaming heap of junky emotions, came to realize that there was a purpose elsewhere this year, and had no choice but to follow that thread. That is all i have to say on that, and am not asking anyone to follow me if their strong inclination is to stay their course. it is your journey to determine.
i'm not sure how this post got to where it is, but here it is anyway. the wind is pushing tree limbs to their limits outside...45 mph they say. it makes a nice shushing sound inside where i'm warm with diva and bulimia cat, and a cup of my current addiction - Constant Comment tea. there are worse addictions and this one comes in decaf too!
wishing you each a brightly shining day filled with insight and ah-ha's...

2012-01-13T17:11:00.002-05:00

this is the second attempt to post today...the first one froze my mac and i had to delete the whole program and blah blah blah. so instead, i spent a productive day...12 loads of laundry. yes. twelve. i have a closet in my studio that's 12x10 feet. we don't have a basement, so all my out-of-season clothes, shoes, size 4 pants, some furniture, husband's not-work clothes, rifles, etc, get stored there. it is not possible to vacuum or dust in there, and after so many years, i would have a major allergy attack (dust) every time i went to wear a sweater from that closet. so i got mad (and smart) and motivated and emptied every last thing out of the closet, donned a surgical mask (beauty) and vacuumed, clorox-wiped, dusted and began washing Every Single Thing in there. I have a tremendous Mt. Everest pile of clothes going to Goodwill - i mean there is no hope whatsoever that i will ever get into some of these pants. and the closet is so clean and beautiful now. i actually would use it for a task area as part of the studio. it's bright enough to draw in. but there's a pile of stuff still needing a home, so i'm sure it will fill up again. one thing that made me happy to do was wash all the linens that were stored there and put them in giant clothing bags. now i can have April fresh sheets anytime without having to run the wash before i make the bed. ahhh. it's all about organizing and simplifying right now. it started yesterday when i went to get ready for a business appointment and realized that the Big Girl clothes i had either didn't fit, or looked tattered or schlocky. perfect for my last job where i sat in a cube and no one saw me, but not at all right for my new life. thank goodness for Wholly Tara - I bought a dress there last year that is perfect for anything and is actually flattering. i was hating on the pantyhose, though. so immediately after the appointment, i took myself to the mall. as luck would have it, the salesperson watched more episodes of What Not To Wear then i ever have, and put together the start of a great wardrobe for me...and they were having a sale! the entire haul cost the same amount (including 2 pair of shoes) as the coat's regular price, so i actually shopped for free, if you think about it. (that's called "sales math" where I'm from). bags and bags and bags of stuff. and all of it fits, and is flattering and i feel great in them. and no pantyhose required. so i made a deal with myself that i would finally clean out/clear out every single thing that i didn't love, or that didn't fit. i hung onto a lot of things because even though the fit was off a bit i worried that i'd never find another whatever. and i have to say, i have a lot of duplicates because i couldn't find something in all the chaos. and it was chaos. 5 black turtlenecks. 7 pair of black pants (only 1 fit, and they were downright matronly). that sort of thing. 30 - yes 30 - pair of white sweat socks. and a drawer full of left socks with no right sock, or elastic that had seen better days. don't even get me going on the bras and unmentionables. whoosh. all out. so now i have the clothes from the big closet to re-hang, and every piece has to justify it's way back into the closet. (and i don't think the skirt from the 80's will make it, sorry to say. or the jacket with the Joan Collins Big Mutha shoulder pads). oh yeah it feels good. it's dinner time, and i haven't showered for the day yet, but got a lot done. it sure beats watching the snow outside. holy mother of george jetson! in 2 hours, the world filled with snow...i kept trying to clear a path for diva to make it to her special spot to poo, but it would fill in by the next trip. ok - now husband smells smoke, so i have to go check. happy friday the 13th!

update: no fire, but somehow blogger rearranged the order of the blogs (i have 2 - one is extinct) and i just posted to the wrong blog. so thank goodness for copy/paste. and thank goodness for Sue who taught me how to copy/paste on this computer.

2012-01-08T12:38:00.003-05:00

wow. within minutes after my facebook farewell, i got no less than 10 emails asking why i was leaving, and 1 was pretty damn huffy. Here's the thing...I am happy to promote you here...my focus this year is all about helping to spread the word about workshops/ecourses/shops/extraordinary people, etc. and yes, I do recognize that facebook is a great vehicle for advertising - especially for small biz. heck, i promoted my website on my facebook page. i don't have a problem with using any technology that's available to you to get the word out.
My issue with facebook is this: it is becoming the way people assume they are connecting with one another, exclusive of emails, letters, cards, phone calls, and old fashioned face-to-face cups of coffee. and that is not acceptable to me. someone clicking "like" after a comment should not replace a personal comment to that person. it's just how i roll. it makes people more isolated. i don't have a problem, per se, with facebook, or with a person promoting their whatever on facebook. just look at it as a sidedish, rather than the main course, is all i ask. it's like posting a billboard in someone's yard without thanking them, or asking them. don't forget to send an email to or call a friend you know is having a bad time, or celebrating a fantastic event.
that was my only point. and since i'm no longer on facebook - don't forget me!
i won't forget you.
and as soon as i get a minute, i'll be updating my gadgets and sidebar to list some of the amazingly wonderful places on the web i'd love to share with you.

2012-01-07T23:03:00.002-05:00

i know i've said this before, and will likely say it again, but....tonight i closed my facebook account. yes gasp. (sarcastic gasp). it's been a few days since i checked on it, and honestly, it looked like a highway filled with billboards. very little actual connecting going on...mostly people trumpeting their product/workshop/store, etc. And that's not what i signed up for. i was talking to a friend the other day (yes actually talking to an actual friend), and we were bemoaning the demise of people connecting, or even conversing. texts, emails, "likes", comments...they've all taken the place of an actual conversation. and don't get me going on a handwritten card or letter...they are filed in the "quaint" category these days. maybe i sound old, but if being old means i care enough about you to call, then hand over the AARP card. i'm happy to give a mention to your book, or workshop or new puppy here in this space - hell, i'm thrilled to shout your happiest news! but facebook has become ad-central...a promotional platform. i spent more time hiding stories that i felt inappropriate for what i wanted to represent me. and i want more from a friendship then a "friend." so, sadly, i am leaving that part of the technological wonderment behind me. but hopefully not the friends i've made.

2012-01-07T08:37:00.002-05:00

yes, i'm like that. a list-maker, organizer, pretty things all in a row. ok, well, mostly. sort of. except for the "tidy & organized house" image that might conjure. every morning while i have my 1st cup of coffee and wait for diva dog to shake off the sandman and come downstairs for "out," i make a list of what i hope to accomplish that day. well, back up a sec...on Monday, i make a list of what needs to get done for the week, then break it down every day. so on monday, i tackle a few things & check them off. then tuesday i pick a few more, etc. I know if i pick at least 1 hard thing a day (laundry, grocery shopping and that ilk), then by friday, my list will be empty. and the weekend free. except my weekdays and weekends are pretty seamless. so it's more about carving out personal time. if i finish xyz on my tuesday list, for example, then i have "free" time...my list is done for the day. and i include things like "an adventure walk" with diva - which is nothing more than taking a different route than usual...not such a hard frog to eat*, right? and also in the schedule are items like "9-11am: sketch," or "afternoon: used book store to find text for collage." so along with vacuuming, cleaning up after bulimia cat, running the stairs with scorchingly dirty laundry, etc, are Must Do's that are actually pleasurable. but they are important. and if a wrench gets thrown in to my perfectly planned day, i can assure you that the vacuuming will wait. which explains the state of my house. but i figure there are no extra points for dying with a clean house, and when the temps are in the high 40's in January, it's a sign from God to go ye therefore outside of the structure and play. (that's a rough translation from the actual verse found somewhere maybe). you know, in all this random rambling, i completely lost my point. surprised? ok...back to paint and pencils and gesso and the smells of a productive studio.
wishing you an amazing day of play, and a self-cleaning house!

*my ex-boss had a term "Bite the frog" which meant to tackle your least favorite & often avoided task first thing in the morning, so then the rest of your day was better by comparison, and you were done with the task on deadline. my whole day was a frog, so it was a matter of jumping from lilypad to lilypad all day! and yes - i did buy a pack of rubber frogs, and would randomly launch them over the tops of people's cubes throughout the week. and yes - i was not an easily managed employee, but was very productive, and have heard morale sunk to a low low after i left. so there's that.

2012-01-05T09:44:00.002-05:00

ok. the first week of the new year has been whiz bang, let me tell you. But at the same time slow and gentle. inside. chaos swirls around outside, but i am focused on where i need to be. one thing that i know i need to improve on is beating me over the head...and i can't understand it. I am uber-punctual for appointments...always 15 minutes early at least. it's maddening sometimes, because if i am meeting someone for lunch, and they're 10 minutes late, i've already sat there 25 minutes. my bad. but i will be totally honest with you here: I have not mailed out christmas presents yet. i know. i feel so ashamed. yes, i was sick for 140 years, so that did slow me down, but i have one that i'm making, and it honestly would take maybe 30 minutes to finish, and i just can't seem to work on it. yes, i've been busier than usual with Stuff That Needs Sudden & Immediate Attention, but i just feel so wickedly aweful about (what I perceive as) sluggishness. so this year, i will be trying my best to get gifts, cards, letters, etc, out on time. it's a lifelong problem that i am known for, and feel like a bad friend. it's not that these things aren't important to me...they are VERY important to me. which is why it makes me scratch my head in wonder.
new topic.
I am signed up for a second round of online workshops with Suzi Blu. I have always wanted to draw faces, and my brain and hand refuse, just REFUSE to play nicely when the pencil hits the paper. so i thought if i was learning to make a folk art-ish face, then there would be less pressure. and it was so great! i'm not sure how she does it, but within 1 lesson, i was drawing and shading and SEEING what i needed to see. and have carved out time every morning to draw a face from a magazine - a real face. i'm pleased with the results so far, although most of the models would probably take one look and push me down. But i am doing it. The next round of workshops i signed up for is a Portraits class, where she goes more in depth about where things should go. I never thought i'd enjoy this type of class online, and figured i'd be so high-maintenance in person that i should stick to collage. but there you have it. i also signed up for a free mixed media class taught by Traci Bautista through Strathmore online. check them out - there are a bunch of different artists and techniques to choose from. free is a good price.
i also found a cool website called "Bookmooch," where you can trade books with people all over the world. i have to look at it more, but the premise is that you list the books you want to get rid of, and if someone else wants them, you either trade for something they have, or get a certain number of points to use elsewhere. (if they don't have a book you want). i have stacks of books here that i've cleaned out. our local library is pathetic, yet when someone donates books to them, they put them in a huge book sale in the summer (50 cents each). i mean, hey. you have a perfectly good book here that obviously SOMEone wanted to read...why not put it on the shelf?? or sell it for $5 if you need the money so badly. and i'm not sure what they spend the book sale money on, because they haven't seemed to add to their inventory since bell bottoms came around the first time.
so here's something confusing: a few days ago, we had our first snow. yes - FIRST. it was a respectable amount...enough to get my prepaid plow guy to come. yesterday was 9-degrees and Very Windy & cold. my windshield wiper actually froze and broke off. for real. now today, i went outside with diva at around 8am (lazy slug that she is) and it was warm enough for my usual morning uniform of bathrobe & boots. (no wonder the neighbors have their house up for sale). i'll take it, though. not a fan of snow.
diva is getting old by the day. she is slowing down in ways that remind me of Kita's last year. and she's been getting weird spots on her...a sore she keeps licking on her paw...some kind of irritation on her chin. between my dentist appointments and her vet appointments, i have a full time job.
speaking of which - time to get back to the workbench and Gepetto out some very special necklaces that are scheduled to head out.
but first a shout out & big congratulations to Swirly! not only is her book on the shelves, but she became a grandma yesterday!! yikes - and she's, like, 20 years younger than me. oy.
wishing you all a day filled with blessing and gratitude

2012-01-02T10:36:00.002-05:00

yes, it keeps coming back to this: I am wired to express myself by making art. BUT, i also get such fulfillment in sharing art that moves me, whether or not it is my work. what to do? what to do? I am thinking of revamping my website...have tabs to showcase an artist (or artists) every month on a special tab. there are so many people who's art is so fantastic, but they don't have an online venue to share it with you...or they do have an online venue, but i really want you to discover them. and maybe through this blog, you'll head over to the website and see what they have created. i'm not sure what this will look like yet...just kanoodling right now. but i think if i lost all ability to make art, i would most certainly represent other artists. so, while i'm figuring things out, if you are interested in being featured, please email me or leave your contact info in the comment section here. i think this will be really good.

In other news...i signed up for (and actually completed!) Suzi Blu's Petite Dolls. i have been wanting to draw portraits, but the minute i hold a pencil in my hand, the brain checks out and the yes roll away. so i figured it would be a good warmup (and non-threatening) way to get used to drawing. they're just folk art dolls, right? they aren't supposed to look real, so there's no pressure. let me tell you...it worked. through the class, i learned about placement of eyes, nose, etc, and about shading. the downside to this is that i now have a colored pencil addiction, and had to go buy a carrier thingie with all these elastic loops to hold the pencils. and a special sharpener. and eraser. oh, and sketchbook. yeah, so, there's that. but i'm diggin it. i know i am drawn to an orderly display of things in bright, juicy colors, so i should have just had Leslie at the art store pick out colors for me while i kept my eyes shut. but no. and so, armed with discount coupons and gift cards and a Strong Need for these things, i went guerilla commercial on them. well at least they weren't sweaters (back in the 80's when shaker knit sweaters came in vogue, i happened upon a display of them all folded neatly...long sweaters and short sweaters...in every single color imaginable. i bought one of each in each length. many many sweaters. i may still have one or two.) there's just something so appealing and tasty about it. and i noticed that when i was going through magazines for design ideas for my Perfect Studio, i ripped out pages of images that were colorful rows of whatever. even fish in a fish market (yes - real fish) all lined up. you would think my house is neat and tidy and orderly, but no - it is a righteous mess. it really is. husband travels a lot, and likes cleared, flat surfaces - like a hotel room. it is a tension.

okay - time to shower and layer on clothes, walk diva, and start the year with dental work! yippee. but Dr. Patel is fantastic...he is redoing all the bad dental work i've had foisted upon my mouth in the past 15 years, and i am hopeful to have things set right by May.

meanwhile, i cannot urge you strongly enough: this year, take a week for yourself and go to an art retreat. start saving change, bonus checks, round off your checking account balance...whatever it takes...but do this thing for yourself...meet like-minded women, or just absorb the atmosphere of creativity while you try something new. it has been a balm to my soul to do this every year. promise?
okay - time for the shower.

2012-01-01T17:26:00.002-05:00

what an incredible day...no snow...temps in the upper 40's to near 50-degrees...windy...perfect day for a walk...i took my camera down through the woods (yes, diva was jealous) hoping to catch the owls or the two huge hawks that were fussing around the treetops calling each other out yesterday, but no luck. today is a lazy day of sketching, and starting a new (FREE!) online class with Traci Bautista. It's through Strathmore Paint ... www.strathmoreartiststudio.com . sorry - haven't figured out how to copy & paste with the mac yet, but signed up for a class on friday. there really isn't much to say right now...am gellin' with a glass of Rancho Sisquo, and my sketchpad...a fire in the fireplace, and am trying to waft as much estrogen around the room as possible to offset the football :)
will check in tomorrow with a little more of a verbal meal.

2011-12-29T08:44:00.001-05:00

something beautiful today....go here, www.magnoliapearlblog.blogspot.com ...turn your speakers on...immerse in the wondrous lushness and beauty....thank you Robin....

2011-12-28T08:43:00.002-05:00

today is my birthday! yes, jammed in between christmas and new years. i love having all the milestone days in a row...it creates a time to consider, reconsider, recalibrate, and start the new year with fresh thoughts and directions.
each year during this week, i spend time weighing the thoughts and attitudes and directions i've headed in the past year, and what i hope to bring into the next year...and also what the new year requires of me. i mark the promise/hope/intuition with a new necklace, emblazoned with a word or words that best sums it up.
this year: be in service. i plan to stamp out the medallion during the week, and spend some time adding charms and trinkets and talismans to the chain.
do you do this? i'm not a journaler, although this blog is somewhat of a journal, i suppose. i look back through the year's posts to see what resonates with me...what gives me an urge for a second reading. and usually a theme evolves. this year, the days that gave me the most joy were the ones that were full of giving - the "coincidental meetings" where i was able to help...help for no other reason than i had something that could make a difference to someone else...a skill, a connection, a shoulder to cry on...something that i could offer that changed a person's life. this year, my intuition tells me that there will be much much more of that...that i need to be sharpened to discern need, and be open to what is asked of me to give...to discern when to give and when to let a person's lesson unfold to them. it's easier, by far, to be a "rescuer" than to watch someone struggle through a life lesson. but sometimes that's what needs to happen.
this year, i am planning to set up a philanthropic organization to be able to give as needs are presented. i say organization, but don't mean a large bureaucratic body requiring forms and justification. more to come on all that as it becomes reality. but the thought of being able to provide a service, a connection, an opportunity, and yes sometimes money to someone to help them realize their life's needs and purpose - just the thought is so exciting. it's has been amazing to me to see how the smallest gesture can sometimes make a huge impact.
so share with me: what are your thoughts, hopes and dreams for your own life this next year? what things are you hoping to express more of, or develop? what are you hoping to leave behind in 2011 and replace in 2012?
sometimes seeing it in print helps gel it...
wishing you each a new, fresh beginning, with lightness, purpose and direction.

2011-12-26T09:19:00.002-05:00

the hustle and hurry of the holidays is mostly over...although i still need to mail out my christmas prezzies. someday, i'll do this on time. perhaps. i've had an incredible year, wouldn't you say? and having been flat on my back for the past few months has given me time to think about where i've been, where i'd like to head, what i want to take with me, what i want to leave behind in 2011.
going from 0 to 350 in a month was crazy...crazy good, and crazy bad. i learned a lot, to say the least. business plans, marketing, web construction, booth design, networking...all that business type stuff. and in all that, i consider myself a success. however. yes, however. i lost connection to my artwork. gasp yes i did say that. my necklaces and collages and assemblages ... they came from a place in me that needed a voice...a place where no words would suffice...where only something splashed with color or tactile elements or a talisman reminder of truth or strength or loveliness or wisdom would do. and in all the daily rush of emails and organizing work schedules and shipping schedules and the nuts-and-bolts of running a business - slowly the point of it all was lost. i am a person that has a deep need to make a difference. to reach out to a heart that is tired or frustrated or feeling hopeless, and give a spark. it is who i am. it is what makes me so incredibly happy. it is my purpose. throughout the years, it is the direction i always find myself pointing true north towards, no matter where i've strayed. all this being said, and after an incredible 3 months of thought, i'm heading in a new/old direction. true north. and i am so dang excited. the minute i realized that my old purpose never went away or changed, and that i could return to that path...the very instant...i was giddy. yes, absolutely light in my heart and wanting to dance. the very day i re-realized where i had strayed, my hearing returned. how's that for a sign? from "you aren't listening, so i'll take your hearing," to bam! "Now you're hearing me!" at any rate, I'm not 100% positive what the new year will look like, but i have some ideas. my website will remain, and will be updated as i make new work, but it is not my focus. My focus is to be in helping...helping others with the business of their business. not a life coach. not a job coach. nothing quite so organized as that. yes, i have had several people ask for help in specific areas of setting up a website, or making a plan for their business, and i am honored to help. the things that really make the hair on my arms stand up though, are the heart things...the Love Bombs, the anonymous gifting and lifting and opening a door for an opportunity to happen for someone. recently, i wrote a few days of posts that were about blogs & websites that I loved and visited. that was so incredibly fulfilling to me, to be able to share and make others aware of some really cool people. i started a series of interviews with people i wanted to introduce to you, but then got sick and haven't been able to post them. (as soon as my PC gives it up to the new Mac, i'll get those going).
I'm not sure what form this giving will take...simple random acts, or a full-blown philanthropic effort. but i do know for certain that this is where i should be, and to not follow the clear leading, well, that would be a shame.
so my website is still operational and running, and your requests will still get my heartfelt attention, however, there are some new things brewing too. and the path is genuine and authentic and awesome in it's gentleness and excitement. i feel overwhelmed and blessed by the creation taking shape.
and if i needed a push and a confirmation of any sort, i began reading "Desire To Inspire" by Christine Mason Miller last night, and found my heart saying, "YES YES YES - That's What I'm Telling You!" on every page.
Now This...this is what it's all about...being exactly where you belong.

does this post make my butt look big?

2011-12-25T21:30:00.002-05:00

well, i can honestly say that husband outdid himself this christmas...i did not expect that we would exchange gifts (even though i did, in fact, buy him a huge table saw - see previous posts), but he outsmarted me. i am typing this on a teeny keyboard that is wirelessly tethered to a gi-normous iMac screen. yes. i'm a mac now. and i have to say that i feel more artsy latte-ish. i do not feel more techno-smart, though. and after waiting 6 hours for the migration assistant to suck the brains out of my PC, it cheerfully announced the Vulcan Mind Meld was complete. perhaps, but ....where? no info shows in the Mac, and no info (thank God) was missing from the PC. I did get a good nap in while waiting, though. i'm still trying to figure out how to set up folders MY WAY in the email program, but that will happen sooner or later. the screen is large enough to be in braille, though. the "magic mouse" is a bit weird...no left or right clickie thing. ach. we'll see. so if you email me and don't get a reply in a timely fashion, please call...my emails are all a jumble. they were the only things that did come over from the PC. all 500+ in no particular order and with folders stripped. i am very excited to iChat though. maybe. i guess that means I'll have to wash my hair befre i answer the phone. more on some exciting (actual) news tomorrow.
hope your christmas was wonderful and sparkly

2011-12-24T18:12:00.001-05:00

May your days be merry and bright....
much catching up to do on Monday - meet ya back here!

2011-12-23T08:36:00.002-05:00

well, i've come to terms with the fact that my christmas presents will not make it to the post office in time. yes, ever the optimist, i had hopes. but it is not to be. perhaps by new year? oy. so i have viable excuses and reasonable reasons, yes, but i still feel a tug of guilt. but who doesn't love a gift at any time? so that's the way it is from here.
sales at the gallery have been unstoppable. i'm speechless and amazed and grateful. i'm looking at studio space outside of my house...it's a toss up between the convenience, and the privacy/don't-bother-me factor. although my home studio is private, diva and bulimia cat still wander in (and through) my space with demands. plus, it's too easy to get distracted with laundry and naps. a studio outside the house would make it more Official that this is My Job. we'll see.
I received my copy of Christine Mason Miller's "Desire To Inspire" last night....it's beautiful, and authentic, and soulful, and has spoken to my heart. and i'm still reading the "forward!" (kidding about the forward). i love this book. i love her. and to her husband, i have a one word message: yogapants.
This will likely be my last post through the holidays, unless a typical meltdown of manners occurs, and i need to share some outrageous moments.
Wishing you all a beautiful holiday, filled with Norman Rockwell moments, and sweet chai tea peacefulness.
and to all, a good night.
xox

with sprinkles and a cherry on top

2011-12-21T08:05:00.002-05:00

okay - i have to be kinda sneaky about this, because i never know who's reading & i don't want to spoil the surprise.
but here's the deal.
i am a firm believer in the "what goes around, comes around," and not just germs. my last few posts have been about doing good, and good will come to you, right? well, never in my wildest dreams did i expect that to happen on a freezing cold night (last night) when a certain someone's main christmas gift was at stake.
i had just one day - yesterday - to sneak a big big box into the house, wrap it, and breathe a sigh of relief. it had been paid for, and was waiting at the store for the exact right time. so last night was that time, however, i realized late in the day that i would never not ever be able to unload it from my car once i got home. too heavy. i took a mental survey of my neighborhood, and realized that the only person who might be able to help was away. stepdaughter and strong-like-bull boyfriend (hers, not mine) to the rescue. the shortened version of this part was they arrived at the store, and plans had gotten confused, and rather than a pickup truck, they had her small car...smaller than mine. but i was hopeful i could cram the box into my car. at the service desk, we waited and waited and waited for them to locate the box, get it down from the rafters, and wheel it up front. i was not annoyed at the wait...it's a busy time of year, and just felt something peaceful. did i mention we waited a looong time? that's key here, because there is no such thing as imperfect timing in God's world if we pay attention. i was chatting with the customer service cashier, explaining how this was going to be a huge surprise and that the recipient would never ask for anything for themself, so i was so happy to have thought this up, etc. So the box arrives on the big dolly/cart thing, and 2 employees are asking where my truck is. Another man behind the counter looks at the box and says "That is an awesome present! I'd like that myself!" (glow glow). we go outside to my car, which is not a truck, and dread sinks in...it won't fit. it was like trying to shove my ass into the jeans that i own from last year. no amount of wishin and hopin was going to get it in. and delivery was $79. Not an option. so back to the perfect timing thing. while we were standing out there staring at the box, willing it to shrink by a mere 3 inches, the man from behind the counter walks out on the way to his car to leave for the night and asks what the problem was. we explained, and as he walked toward his car, he turned around, and said to the men "ring that under a blah blah blah no charge blah blah blah merry christmas." we all gaped at each other for a second, and then looked at him as he was walking away and said WHAT DID YOU SAY?? all at once. he repeated. yes. he said to put it on a truck right then & deliver to my house for free. tears followed. i was gobsmacked. this is one of those huge corporate chain stores. not a local we-know-you-since-you-were-born places. and this man's kindness saved my particular christmas surprise. the men with the cart said that was their new store manager, and "what a great guy he is." I couldn't agree more. i have initiated many random acts of kindness in my life, just because it feels so darn good, and because it is the right thing to do. but this. coming back in such a huge way. is.amazing. i'm still smiling. i snarkled and dripped tears the entire ride back to my house with a huge delivery truck behind me. they must have spent at least $79 in gas. and to follow the thread backwards, at any time, if any one of the actions had been delayed by even a minute, this miracle would not have been possible...if i had gotten to the store a mere few minutes later than i did, the manager would have been gone already...or if it took them less time to get the box up front, he would've been in the back of the store. my lesson (again) to myself: pay attention to that small voice ...that intuition...that unreasonable pull to go to a particular location at a particular time. there just may be something so incredibly wonderful for you, or for you to do.
right now, i am going to explode with gratitude with all the goodness going around.
how about you?

2011-12-19T10:45:00.002-05:00

be aware today: whatever you put out from yourself, takes on life. harsh words to someone - they don't end there. even after an apology. the hurt person may have called someone to cry on their shoulder, so now there are 2 people affected by your outburst. and then the 3rd person in this ripple-effect gets in a bad mood and reacts badly to others and on and on. conversely, smiling at someone, or complimenting them, or letting them ahead of you in traffic or the grocery store...that goodness breeds goodness and it ripples even quicker. bad is heavier. I remember the Starbucks phenomenon here...My husband would often be given Starbucks gift cards by reps he worked with. He would pass them on to me. on my way into work, I'd go to the SB drive-thru and pay for my order, and the car behind me. one time the girl at the window jumped up and down, clapping her hands & calling some other employees over. she said one day the "pass it on" phenomenon went on for 2 hours or more, with each car getting a free order paid for by the car in front of them. love it!
this morning my mother called me early and began filling my ear with a chaotic tumbler of urgent and bad news not involving her, and that i had no way of changing, and only upset my stomach. the pumpkin pancakes were dumped into the trash, and a frown creased my face. husband was racing through the house trying to pack for his work week away. I was grepsing and grumpy to him. he yelled at the dog. the cat threw up. fa-la-la-la-la. He & I apologized. i took a hot shower to reconnect with my heart and wash the chaos out. the dog got a treat. i still had to clean up after the cat. i could use a free starbucks right now :)

be good, be kind, smile more today, and be sensitive to the calling of the universe to do one deed so incredibly good that you wonder how the universe ever picked you to do it.

2011-12-19T10:27:00.001-05:00

“And it occurred to me that in this new millennial life of instant and ubiquitous connection, you don’t in fact communicate so much as leave messages for one another, these odd improvisational performances, often sorry bits and samplings of ourselves that can’t help but seem out of context. And then when you do finally reach someone, everyone’s so out of practice or too hopeful or else embittered that you wonder if it would be better not to attempt contact at all.”
—Chang-rae Lee, Aloft

(copied from Space Tiger blog)

being santa

2011-12-18T14:22:00.001-05:00

you do not have to live in the area to participate in this....people are people!

a challenge for you all: In the spirit of the "Kmart Secret Santa" paying off layaways, I have been made aware of a single mom who has been struggling to pay off a layaway for a crib & mattress. Her layaway is at the Liverpool NY Kmart. She owes less than $200 on it. Christmas is a week away. If you feel it in your heart, call the store 315-652-4494. ask for the assistant manager with the red spiky hair, and tell her you want to help pay on the layaway with the crib. she will know which one. she has others earmarked as well. This asst manager is an angel in disguise, as well. any amount will help, or go for it & do it all! after you call....notice how good you feel? ahhh-mazing! and it all comes back to you.

wonderment

2011-12-17T08:01:00.003-05:00

what's not to love about the intense redness of this showoff against the first snowfall?

i have a lot on my mind, so this will be long. all good! grab your tea and here we go...
while looking through a local boutique, i came across a shirt that had all this on it:
Love This Life...it's about celebrating the moment and that we're not guaranteed or owed another day and how cool it is that what we hide can actually be the fuel towards our glory and that it's not so bad being proven wrong...
Love This Life...it's about welcoming the blind turn and the possibility that there's no such thing as coincidence and that empathy is incredibly sexy and that it's never too late to pick up a guitar or a paintbrush or to make an amend or to make a new friend.
Love This Life...could be about rekindling a past flame or igniting a new one or shapeshifting from a dreamer to a doer or savoring the caress of a love long gone.
Love This Life...means whatever it is you want it to mean because it is a celebration of you and your path...
Love This Life...'cuz it could go at any second.
You rock.

Yes!! all this on the back of a t-shirt. by David Culiner, I have to add. Could i think of at least 150 people i'd like to send this to? oh, at least!
now, i just spent an hour on the phone with a new friend, and have much much to do in the studio, so i'll check back later with fantastic bits for you....
today...Love This Life.

2011-12-16T08:35:00.004-05:00

ok - i've finally admit to myself: my christmas presents will most likely not be mailed in time for christmas delivery. i tried, but will become crazed if i keep this up. and there really aren't many, or all that much, as we've decided to do things a little lighter this year. Personally, i love love love getting cards with a little note inside. that is my favorite. i have a little gift bag hung up by my desk, and i keep every single card i ever get in this bag. yep. it's true. and when i need a pick-me-up, i shuffle through them and re-read them. it just warms my heart.

Now that i'm back on my feet (mostly), i have a much more clear idea of where i'm heading...and it looks like there's an entirely new path awaiting...well, not entirely new, but new. and i'm so freaking excited by some of the things about to happen! none of which would have crossed my radar had i not been flat out on my back all these weeks, with nothing to do but listen (internally!). so, a lesson in being grateful - even for the things I think of as bad news or frustrating or slowing me down.

BUT - for now, i have a special special necklace to wrap and get to the post office, because this one has been patiently waiting for a while to go to it's new home.

enjoy your day, and find happiness and gratitude in each and every thing - yes, even that.

2011-12-15T07:25:00.003-05:00

you know. sometimes change is good. although, if you know me, then you know how i can be as resistant as oilcloth when it comes to change. and so many things have changed for me in the past year...yow! but the changes came gently. not to say some weren't fairly abrupt, but gentle in their way...logical and right. they fit. and i sense some changes coming again, just as i've had time to settle into these changes. oy. but rest is stagnation, i suppose. my work is taking on more depth and feeling, as i've begun to explore new materials, and new ways of using old materials. the past 3 months on the couch slack-jawed-and-drooling left me itching to get out and get moving. walks with diva have once again become part of our day...both of us cautiously making our way through the woods on shaky legs. a new studio may just be in my future, thanks to a fortuitous conversation yesterday!
can i just say something? there are full days when there are no words to express my gratitude for the people i have come to meet in my life. i can only shake my head and let tears slide. truly truly blessed. call me oogly-googly, but i do sit quietly for a few minutes every morning and let my heart express gratitude in fullness for each of the people who have a spot in my heart. yes - that's a lot of spots! and i just wanted to publicly thank you for being in my life. thank you for holding me up when i needed it, and thank you for allowing me to hold you up when you needed it. yes - holding you up is as much a blessing to me as it is to you. and i thank you for trusting me with your soft parts. so now - after 4 hours sleep (yawn) it's time to move into the flow of my day.
wishing you stardust and chocolate sprinkles today!

PS: for blog readers only...30% off any copper Intention Word necklace over at my website! yes! can you believe it! they may not make it before christmas - just so you know. I'll even hammer out a new word for you if you don't see yours. but just through December...January has some big changes for me!!

2011-12-14T08:54:00.002-05:00

whew! it has been quite a ride these past few months. are you still out there? did you forget me? are you still checking in? well, if you are, here's a little sparkly bit for you:

I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.
-Brian Andreas

I am officially on the mend! following an acupuncture appointment on Monday, my hearing is back 98%, and my strength is returning. was it the treatment or just natural progression of this nasty bug - who knows? but i made it through the day yesterday at a semi-normal pace. Back to the business in the studio today with tons of ideas and a fresh start.
Diva is staying pretty close...like, on top of my feet right now. Bulimia cat has ensconced him/herself upon the new bedroom furniture like royalty. life is good.

Husband has determined he will be buying a boat. a sailboat. we agreed that once college tuition loans were paid up and some lingering credit card stuff was taken care of, we (meaning "he") would begin his search. HOWEVER - that seems like telling a kid he can have that big sloppy piece of chocolate cake after he eats all the broccoli. in the world. he has spent countless untold hours skimming the web looking at boats and marinas and all manner of boat-related things. every night. he sits in bed with the computer and a headlamp looking looking looking. i asked him if he was having an online affair or what. just picture this scene. so yesterday he made an appointment to check out 2 boats at a nearby marina. we are at least a year away from my comfort zone to purchase. but much like crack, he is no longer satisfied to just look online anymore. his addiction has grown...he must touch boat...smell boat..board the vessel and imagine himself at the helm. so in all fairness to him, and as payback for him having to look at me wandering aimlessly around the house in my bathrobe for 3 months, we went to look at 2 boats yesterday. in the freezing cold. the boats were not in the water, they were up on those holder-things. and a person had to climb an actual household TALL ladder to get to the back end of this thing, then slip themselves under the winter cover and slither aboard. my footwear was not appropriate. not sure what i was thinking. maybe picturing balmy temperatures, walking down a sturdy dock and stepping aboard, with the support of a strong manly hand. and the captain, looking dapper and crisp in his dress whites would tip his hat and welcome me aboard, while Julie The Cruise Director would check her clipboard to see what the day's activity choices were...a spa pedi, sipping paper-umbrella drinks in cushy chaise lounges while P Diddy grilled some freshly caught fish, and the chef prepared a nice salad and fruit cup. or maybe just standing on the bow in a gauzy white dress, with the wind blowing my hair in an exact semblance of a razor commercial and my straw hat never flies off into the ocean/sea/lake, and suddenly the sunset bursts beautifully over the dining table on deck, and the stars twinkle above the candlelight and crystal. maybe that's what i thought. but... this was more like pushing a recalcitrant donkey up a ramp that was perpendicular to the ground. shove push grunt. and then - i was aboard. ahoy. and i tried to picture myself living on this boat for a weekend, as is my husband's dream. or sailing for a week up to Toronto. or some type of magical scenario...this boat with a kitchen the size of a closet, and a bathroom the size of a standard adult eagle's wingspan - no, make that a crow. i tried to burble up the same enthusiasm i saw beaming from my husband's eyes. but the facts are as cold as the metal on that ladder: i don't like big, open areas of water. I also get seasick. oh, and have i mentioned that neither of us has ever really sailed? husband used to race Hobie's, but that is a whole different animal. but it is his dream. and i will support it as much as he has supported my full-time artist dream. just not right now. so last night, filled with the smell of the sea (or lake, in this case), and visions of hoisting sails he had touched (in their winter wrapper) and bursting with the day's conversations with An Actual Sailor about wind directions and heads and V-berths and map tables, he announced he was Ready To Buy. now, how do you back someone off that easily? How do you inject reality into a conversation about a lifelong dream? not easily, but it definitely needed to be done. and my timbers shiver thinking about these planned weekends at sea, and i reach for the Tums just thinking about it. and i do not see diva partaking in this adventure not one little bit. so i'm hoping that the lottery smiles fortune upon us, and husband can get his dream boat (besides me) and we'll work out the rest. dreams cannot ever be quenched. i realize this will happen with or without my "stamp of approval." sigh. maybe i'll get to name it, at least.

2011-12-07T09:09:00.002-05:00

hey y'all...another follow up appointment with the doc today, and she indicated that she may put me in the hospital for some intensive germ intervention. yes - still sick. Soooo....i may be away from this spot for a bit. maybe. but will still have email/web access as long as my smartphone battery holds up, or a mean nurse confiscates it. so i will probably check in anyway. you know me. on a side note, if you have already, or are planning to order off my website, it's all good - i have an elf to help with that!
Purell, man, Purell.

from my brother

2011-12-06T08:22:00.002-05:00

Not the pain nor the relief.
Not the answer or the question.
Not the challenge or the victory.
The song or the sparrow...
Nothing is random.

I'm like that,
The Universe

2011-12-05T08:42:00.002-05:00

i don't want to jinx anything, but i gotta say, if this is winter - i'll take it! no snow yet, mild temps (went out back with Diva this morning in my bathrobe) (I had the bathrobe on - not her). not a fan of snow and cold. this year it looks like i'll be cyber-shopping for christmas gifts, as the Terrible Grepse still has me in it's grip.
not much else to say about that. I've acknowledged the lessons it slowed me down enough to hear, and now I'm ready for it to GO. will be making an appointment with a highly recommended acupuncturist this morning. not sure how i feel about that, but am obviously ready for something to change!
Can i just interject here - apropos of nothing - I am So Freaking Grateful for the friends surrounding me. So Incredibly Grateful. i do literally count my blessings, (if not everyday, then at least every few days), and it never ceases to amaze me. i hold each of you up like a delicate piece of crystal and ask for blessings upon you, and then give my heart time to reflect on how you are so special to me. i guess that's why i'm so attracted to blingy chandeliers - each "drop" reminds me of a friend. so no matter how tired or frustrated or alone or busy-beyond-belief you feel, please know that you have been held up and seen and remembered, yes remembered.
wishing each of you crystal clear visions of your journey, and a vibrant hum of excitement for all the world has for you yet to come....

2011-12-04T16:03:00.002-05:00

just when you thought it was safe to 2-step, a pocket of reality smacks you in the face and turns your head around. Please read this. Are you as infuriated as I am? and isn't it funny how hatefulness is contagious?

you will not be sorry...

2011-12-04T08:07:00.002-05:00

...if you eat too much of this...and really, now - who can say when enough is enough, and when more is too much? i will personally vouch for every morsel, having been the recipient of Mike & Mary's goodness over the years. set aside some time to indulge. this is truly the Top Banana. and you'll feel "gooder" knowing you are supporting a real, live person behind this business. i hate to say "small" business, because he is, after all, the King o' Nana Goodness...but it is Mike, not a huge faceless corporation. and this banana bread is damn spanky good...every flavor. ask yourself - just how many cheeseballs are you going to bring to holiday parties? trust me - bring this. and a spare for yourself. or two. maybe 3 total. oh - the mailman? okay 4.

more weblove!

2011-12-03T13:18:00.002-05:00

While bulimia cat recovers from her inadvertent slip into my once-peaceful bath soak, I'll share some more goodness...
speaking of peaceful bath soaks...
*the official bubble bath of Eldorado lives here...

I love love love ceramics and glass...two art forms that i won't even attempt. here are a few places i love to troll...

* sweet, delicate designs are tempting to me...
*these colors just hum a song to me...and although we've not met, Asya has a special spot in my heart...she is as sneaky sneaky as I am!
*it just tears at me to pass Carmel's work when i visit Szozda Gallery...i have lust in my heart for some sushi plates...
* not pottery or glass, but Bryan makes me want lots of land to install some of his work...
* ya remember when your parents dragged out those embarrassing baby pictures of you to show your prom date? Take Revenge!
* what baggage would you leave behind, if you had the power to let it go? Join in this event, knowing that hundreds around the world are doing the same thing on the same day...powerful,eh?
*YUM + YUM = ecstasy....especially with a few of these on the saucer next to it...ok, more than a few.
*what could be better than spending an evening in front of the fireplace with this, this, and a great movie? (not sure, i don't get out much).
*this is incredibly moving, and just makes me want to be better at everything.
*everyone's doing it...you should too....
* Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire....the rest is here

As this months opens, and begins it's procession, through all the festivities and lights and holiday cheer & a bit of chaos & mania, we also become aware that another year is about to take a bow...have we accomplished all we set out to do? have we grown in ways we are proud of? are there goals and intentions that we are beginning to formulate for the coming year? what changes do we hope for? what will we be working diligently towards, and what will we shuck off, snakelike, like an old skin? will 2012 bring us closer to goals, or will we realize the goals we've set are no longer pertinent - that what we've accomplished along the way is what Should Have Been, and nothing more. will we make promises to ourselves to reach out more, to reach further, to hone our sensitivities to those around our hearts, to push ourselves towards goals & ideals that we dare not even dream? 2011 has been a time of roller coasters, eh? of starts and stops. and each start has taken the ride a bit further, but just that. disillusions have run rampant, and challenges have risen like mountains. but i tell you this - 2011 was a magical time of clearing. of setting things in order, and of burning the chaff from the wheat...the twinkling things that grabbed your attention may have been just that and nothing more. and those distractions slipped through your fingers, am i right? don't mourn them. the clutter has been cleared in this year, to make room for bounty in 2012. it will happen, you'll see. when the table is empty, there is room to lay in a feast. Authenticity will always prosper, whatever your idea of prosperity is. and i wish this to you - an early christmas/new year wish, tied with my heartstring...

surgery update

2011-12-03T10:20:00.002-05:00

it went as planned...the procedure itself was painless, due to numbing drops. within minutes i could hear!! within hours, the OTHER ear became jealous, and i now have no hearing in my RIGHT ear. gggrrr. but will start a 6-day course of uber-roids and hopefully that will help. If you ever have this procedure scheduled, email me for some Thing They Don't Warn You About.

other news: if you're in the Syracuse area friday, stop in Szozda Gallery 5-8pm ...a new show opens that will rock your world...i'll have some new collages mixed in with 9 other artist's work. believe me when i say You Will Love It. i have already mentally spent my next 4 months' mortgage money!

okay - back to bed. yes, it's THAT kind of day.

oy - a last post before going under the knife

2011-12-02T14:04:00.002-05:00

one of my favorite heart-friends from those NH woods (yes i know i talk about those woods waaay too much. are you curious??) has been my roommate for almost as many years as i've been trampling the path for dinner. yes, I own TWO of her paintings. i bought one, and then had to have the sister painting to it. she is on a new journey now as a full time artist, and i have every confidence EVERY confidence that she will bring help & healing wherever she lands....

just so you know, i don't get any money or kickbacks from these mentions :)
I also am not posting anything i don't love love love or believe in, just out of friendship. i don't roll like that. however, if i've left you out (so far) please email me and say hello so it'll jog my memory. i have a long list of beauty that i want to share with everyone...things that just make my day more wonderful...people that i've watched grow and expand...websites and blogs that just make me want to reach further, whether i know the person or not. this is my gift to you.

now - time to find some matching socks (or at least in the same color wheel) and clean up a little.

post #2 this fabulous friday

2011-12-02T10:07:00.002-05:00

one of the juiciest, most opulent blogs/online stores i've ever been to is Magnolia Pearl...you never want to leave. (MUST have speakers on to fully enjoy). Read Robin's story and I dare you not to be fully inspired. Fully. and you will believe in angels. when i win the lottery, i will buy one of each. until then, i am content to sit slack-jawed in front of my screen, mesmerized. don'tcha just want to hang with her for an afternoon??

i would have to say i'll be posting random tidbits for a while. it seems to be my way lately. Oh - next week, stop by Szozda Gallery - my work is hanging in her beautiful end of the year show!!

UK Love

2011-12-02T09:41:00.003-05:00

i just received some big love - UK style! Nicola amazes me - we first met 2 years ago in the woods of New Hampshire (where everything wonderful happens, and nothing bad is ever ever allowed). she has had an amazing & courageous ride the past few years, and it culminated into some of The Most Beautiful photography I've seen evah. I've spent countless amounts of time staring at her images, wondering how the heck she does it, and partly not wanting to know ... the mystery of it is half the beauty. these are self-portraits, mind you. she took them of herself. how? that will remain a mystery. but even if i didn't know her, and thought that someone else took pictures of this beautiful woman, i would still want want want these hanging on my wall. go peek.

surgery today at 4:15 ... send some love my way!

part 2 - sharing the love

2011-12-01T12:24:00.002-05:00

okay - paint is drying and i have a few more minutes to post some more l-o-v-e...

* Cal Patch is awesome. I own one of her shawls (made just for me!) and i keep it in protective covering away from shedding dogs and playful cats. she is such a sweet, gentle soul, and her chickens provide me with incredible feathers!
* speaking of gentle, sweet souls, Jen Lee is like a wonderful caramel hot chocolate (made with real chocolate on the stove the way it should be). There are a ton of so-called life coaches out there, but Jen is not that...but she is, but not really. she gently helps you tease out the wayward threads of your life tapestry, till it is perfection. you will learn, and own, your life story. I recommend her as a friend, and also recommend her workshops. Something new is afloat at Jen's ...go see!
* and speaking of Jen Lee - another one, sort of...Jennifer Lee of Right Brain Business Plan fame. simply put, her book changed.my.life. if you think you want to start a business, or plan to start a business, or have already started a business - her book is an absolute must. you have to have a business plan. you must. it's a plan for your business. and for right-brainers like me, the thought made me queasy. her book gave me that plan and it was fun & creative & painless. did i mention: you NEED a plan for your business?
* Liz Kalloch & I met just once, but she struck me as such a grounded earth-mama type of person, that her essence stayed with me. talented designs (which i own one of!). i wonder if i could be that nice if i was that talented? hmmm...
* my angelfriend Georgia is responsible for all this nonsense i call art! she believed in me when i didn't believe in myself as an artist...she insisted absolutely insisted that i introduce myself as ARTIST when i would just scruff a toe into the dust and say something deprecating about my craft. and it meant plenty & enough to me to hear her words - why? you may ask? well, because she is an amazing published poet, teacher, listener, life traveler, life overcomer, word painter and makes some damn good soup. Her latest book is actually a textbook to be used in schools to teach kids about poetry and history and themselves. all that in one book! i believe in her, and in her tireless ability. if you knew her, you would too. her house is crammed with artwork from some pretty famous, and some not-so-famous artists, and the whole big victorian funky house feels like home the minute you walk in. and never want to leave. oh - and she knits amazingly.
* sometimes a website or blog will just captivate me with color and make me want to reach in the screen to touch & fondle. that is this site. Vineeta Vineeta - you are out to capture my mortgage money! beauty.
* i did mention these were in no particular order, right? well if they were, this one would be first: Szozda Gallery. I have known Caroleena (my name for her) for a zillion years. she is more than a gallery owner - she is a true friend to her artists. she makes sure she knows Every.Single.Thing about the work she presents...the process, the materials, the story-behind-the-story, the artists themselves. She watches over her artists like a momma hen. her gallery is on the street level of the Delavan Center - an ancient former factory that now houses artist studios in 3 levels above. she makes sure the pricing is proper and that everyone who is hungry gets lunch. Also in the building is Reg. Life as we know it would cease if Reg ever took a day off. he is the kindest, smartest person - all wrapped up in a tattooed, gruff, hammer wielding package. you never doubt which side of his favor you are on.

okay - the paint is dry....time to get back to work.

Blessings to you today - yes YOU

2011-12-01T09:48:00.003-05:00

y'all, this has been a long and difficult few months, healthwise, and whenever something is as obviously "blocking" as this, i have to sit back and meditate on what the lesson is. or make art and meditate. and really, i am thick-headed, so a few months of something stopping me in my tracks, well, that's about the right timeline.
i'd like to say that i have ALL the answers, but i don't. however, i DO have the lesson to this enforced dis-ease. and will merrily, if not slowly, make my way toward the path i should have taken back in October. hopefully tomorrow's surgery will set most physical things in their place. keep me held up.

now - what i wanted to post about a month ago was a list of some of my favorite places to cruise on the web, and drool copiously. shops filled with handmade goodness...blogs that delight me with color and words and humor and real-ness. so here goes a partial list - i will add to it as time allows...playing catch up in the studio. this list is in no particular order:
* one of the sweetest people i have met this year - Brandi. she is lovely, rescues rabbits, and has hair i would love! (her husband is one of the sweetest people, also).
* My dearest dudelove - artist/explorer/writer, with a new book coming out Very Very soon. hurry and buy her other book, so you can get a double whammy. She has been a true friend and Advisor Of Life's Big Things. and I live vicariously through her travels. Cuba? Jordan? man oh man.
* I groan every single time I visit EB. I want to kidnap her and make her play art with me. in a good way.
* one of the most generous teachers i know...down to earth, grounded in reality, and her work hangs on my wall. yes - i shelled out real money for it.
* another Adventurer who amazes me, and makes me clap my hands like a little kid just given access to a candy store with a line-of-credit...she lured me to Squam the first year, and i have never forgotten her. Wendy's stories are matched equally with the creatures she brings to life to embody the words. she is in a dear dear place in my heart (and in Boston, if you ever get there).
* My queen - the dreamer of dreams that she brings to life...and her Life Dreams touch so many, rippling through their lives to touch other people...who knew? i could not live without this week.
* and whenever i'm homesick for the above, i crank up a little (okay - a lot) of Jonatha's music...even if I didn't associate her with SAW, i would be addicted. buy you some now! and she'll be performing at Lincoln Center in early January. just sayin: you should not miss that opportunity.
* What can you say about someone called a renegade seamstress? "protective gear for your internal revolution." i own some, but not nearly enough pieces, and they are my favorite go-to's. The skirt i wore at SAW? Secret Lentil. her handwarmers are fabulous! and going fast.
* in my fantasy world, where i can assemble every teacher i want, and have unlimited acces to them and play & pick their brains, MB would be neck & neck for #1. check out her Stencil Girl stuff too. I had the double-secret-handshake good fortune to take a class from her at SAW last september AND have her as a cabinmate! the stars were definately aligned that week. she is funny, gentle, and somehow makes you make good art. or at least learn the techniques she shares without restraint. (xox MB).
* Sarah Sarah Sarah started this whole collage fire in me, and the fact that she has The Cutest Baby only adds frosting to a delicious cupcake. I own her book so i can torment myself. i own her art because, well, go see for yourself. did i lie? no.
* Rockin my world with her love and kindness and sneaky sneaky Big Hugs rocks!! she is crazy fabulous!

There's much more to come...i just need to get my "go" on and get busy. don't forget ME, of course - www.lindaesterleydesigns.com. go, shop, buy, comment. And blessings to you today - may you achieve your idea of success, and may your idea of success bring you peacefulness and joy.

good news x 2!

2011-11-30T14:31:00.003-05:00

first the good news, then the good news...
after much weeping & begging, my surgery has been moved up to friday - in 2 days! i am pinning all my hopes on this procedure to restore my hearing. yes, there are worse things. but this has been an incredibly frustrating and exhausting month and a half, and my body is just about done with this. my spirit has been in low places. i haven't been able to keep appointments with vendors and with customers - i simply have been too sick. my usual studio schedule has gone out the window, and i've been sleeping til 8 or 9am, and needing to nap for most of the afternoon. but enough whining.
the other good news: I've added some collages to my website! go look, but come back.

i've been researching some pretty cool insects, like Luna moths, and white lined Sphinx moths and beautiful, but scary-named Assassin beetles. they are gorgeous, and not at all creepy. That has been the silver lining to hearing loss - i can't hear the TV, so i've caught up on reading.

okay - now to try to catch up on some special orders...i'll listen for you on friday!

Big Strange Family

2011-11-30T08:01:00.001-05:00

from Brian Andreas StoryPeople:

I don't think of it as working for world peace, he said. I think of it as just trying to get along in a really big strange family.

wishing you a strange & peaceful day!

dashing through the - ummm- rain

2011-11-29T08:12:00.002-05:00

just dashing in for a second...I will be updating the one-of-a-kind goodness available on my website later today! The sale continues! I have had enormous issues with the email link, and apologize for any delay in answering requests...if you haven't heard back from me within a few hours, Please try again, or let me know in a comment here. I sincerely want each & every one of you to get the exact talisman, Intention Word, soap charmer or original artwork that you want. (by the way - getting very low on soap charmers, so act quickly on those!)
I did have an email with a question about the Talisman necklaces, and this is how they are created:
Each one is handcrafted with your items and/or mine. Before I begin crafting it, we can have a conversation (via email or my call to you) about the trinkets & treasures you send me, or about what you want the necklace to speak. Oftentimes, those little bits you've saved have a powerful story they want to tell - a fond memory...a time in life that has it's essence wrapped around your heart...a reminder of a person who's love or lessons became a part of your very spirit...those stories are brought to life in your own unique wearable art piece. There is no formula for making them - the pieces have their story to tell, and my hands help them speak.
If you need more information about them, or would like to purchase a gift certificate for someone else to have this beautiful memento made, please visit my website's contact page, and we can begin a conversation about it.
Thank you to everyone who has placed orders so far!

found online

2011-11-28T06:30:00.002-05:00

tired of earbuds poking in your ears? kick it old school

Lovin me the number 3

hugging Diva and being thankful...helping other fluffers

to be continued - the rain has started, and all windows open!

2011-11-27T23:14:00.002-05:00

I am truly missing this little Diva! She's still at Camp Grandma's...with grams saying she'll keep her till i'm not sick anymore, but geez...i need some snuggles! so tomorrow i steal her back. walking the woods may do me some good, and now i'll have that little wet nose prodding me. a restful day...time in the studio proved productive - even after a fitful sleepless night last night. temps near 60 today made for a perfect BBQ night. a little more studio, and now to bed.
wishing you good rest, good friends, a long hug, and sweet dreams.

2011-11-26T18:42:00.003-05:00

"I AM"

it's been a very introspective day...there is an expression of some sort starting to struggle out of it's chrysalis...i know the colors will be stark white and payne's grey, but other than that - no idea. hebrew text comes to mind, and i wonder if the payne's will be the color of the text. it strikes me coincidental on 2 fronts...the feeling of the chrysalis, when i've just completed an insect series, and also that paynes grey is the color of a tattoo - specifically the numbers tattooed on those sent to concentration camps. my feeling is that the next few pieces will be reflective and from a place much deeper than my other work. the word "atonement" comes forward.
I miss the rituals of the High Holy days...the blessings over the sabbath candles and challah and wine...the prayers, half sung and half spoken, memorized from youth and fully appreciated as an adult...the depth of meaning & sanctity of those rituals and those special days...the depth of sorrow and thankfulness...i am of a generation that knew some who survived concentration camps, and was told of those who did not...i am also of a generation that is not satisfied to be quiet when we see injustice...i am of a generation that knows: to be quiet when it is others, opens the way for it to become you.
i don't consider myself a strongly political person, or an activist or someone who will go out and hold protest signs. i am someone who will meet injustice on a one-to-one basis - i will stick up for and step up for someone denied their humanity as i see it. i'm not sure why all this has come up, or why i'm blogging about it. but i await the falling away of the chrysalis, and the hardening of the wings for flight.

ps

2011-11-26T10:44:00.001-05:00

today is Small Business Saturday! buy small or buy local! it really makes a difference.

i believe in you - do you?

2011-11-26T10:03:00.000-05:00

2011-11-25T18:51:00.002-05:00

a quiet day today - well, everyday has been a quiet day for me in the past 3 weeks! it's amazing how different ordinary things are without hearing. driving makes me jumpy because i can't tell if there are sirens coming or what. diva is still at her grandma's. God bless grandma. i miss diva so much, but would not be able to take care of her right now. bulimia cat has become verrry comfortable being the only furbaby in the house - sleeping on the sacred woobie all day. i'll have to wash it before puppy gets a whiff of the boundary-jumper. kitten curls up with me at night, now...like diva, she has to have part of his/her body touching me, although kitten doesn't follow me at 2am if i get up for a glass of water, or to touch up my nyquil. i finally gave up on all the drugs, and found a fantastic home remedy for coughing - honey. it works better than the massive drugs i was taking. for real. a teaspoon stops my cough for hours. and what's not to love about honey? i did a collage called "Honey Tastes Like Sunshine" in it's honor. when i was little, my mom would buy me a honeycomb every so often when she grocery shopped. omg it was sooo good, and the wax was fun to play with after. the teaspoon i tried for coughing the other day transported me back to those days! All i needed was a handful of Richie Rich & Little Lulu comic books, and i would've just time traveled!
i have a few art opportunities all at once, and am semi-scrambling to finish everything AND get jewelry out. i say "semi" because i am still not moving very fast. but wasn't it the turtle that won the race, anyway? I couldn't stand it anymore, and broke into my stash of handmade sandalwood soap. mmmm. just smelling it all day in the studio was more than i had willpower for!
i'm working on 2 different series right now...one is a followup to the Blue Bottle Fly collage...3 more insects! also a piece about the holocaust...a bit different tone than the other. I have another piece starting to swirl inside too, but it's been too shy to show itself. very frustrating. perhaps i need to close my eyes, as well as my ears, in order to feel it. i'm getting stark white and payne's grey, but that's about it so far. i've been working with marble dust, plaster and adhesives...polish polish polish to a shine. stop by Szozda Gallery after 12/4 to see if i finished what i set out to do!
tonight - carrot ginger bisque for dinner. and an early bedtime. last night i was a chapter away from finishing a book and ended up staying up til after 2am. I read the Sue Grafton series, and "V is For Vengeance" is now out...done and ready to ship out to a friend, along with Aleph by Paulo Coehlo. loved both for different reasons - Grafton demands little...just mindless entertainment. Coehlo quite the opposite. read both this week, as the boob tube was not an option, and netflix was not an option, and the studio was not an option. just rest rest rest. felt good - for a while. now i have cabin fever big time. so, off to lay down another layer of plaster, then to bed.
i hope you all had a nice day with family yesterday...and plenty of leftover pie today!

2011-11-22T11:44:00.003-05:00

today, the sun screaming through my window belies the frost on the grass...but the sun is enough to energize me...laundry cooking, primer down on a huge piece I'm working on...kitten folded up on my left foot, keeping it warm & cozy (i may need another cat for the other foot!)...pumpkin pancakes again, and a second cup of coffee...feeling the warmth of friends as I look around the studio at artwork and saved notes & cards...this is christmas and thanksgiving all rolled up in a special moment.
sending out blessings to each and every one of you...may you feel connected and loved and have enough...

cat day

2011-11-21T19:40:00.001-05:00

today i took a lesson from bulimia cat...nap often, eat when you're hungry...find the spot on the couch where the sun is shining and lay down in it...smile and purr...

2011-11-21T10:02:00.002-05:00

bulimia cat is lovin her/him having the house to her/his self...diva is at Camp Grandma's for the week while I go into deep rest & creativity mode. i'm working on a series of collage paintings featuring insects. yes, insects. I did the one with the Bluebottle Fly (on website), and right after, had a little beetle friend come visit. i kept letting him out, but then i'd turn around and there he was again. when i looked him up on the world wide web, i came across some other really kinda cool bugs...like the assasin beetle, which has a bright green/gold covering over it's wings, and a hawkmoth which is similar to a clearwing moth, in that they both move like hummingbirds and are often seen hovering around flowers. sort of like chubby hummingbirds in fur coats. so, the series begins. i also have a show to prepare for at Szozda Gallery, a huge marble plaster piece to figure out how to make - it's been haunting my dreams lately, and 8 other pieces to bring to life...all under deadline. so a week off from mom duties is really needed right now. there's no distraction from the phone, since my hearing is gone in both ears now. surgery on 12/9 if it doesn't clear up with uber-drugs. have i ever mentioned how much i hate taking any prescriptions? i totally do, and usually won't fill the prescription if a Dr. insists i take the piece of paper. this time, though, it's war. and i have been fairly dutiful in my drug taking. prescription-wise. it should be an interesting thanksgiving dinner at my mother-in-law's...i won't be able to hear the clamor & chaos, so it's every man for themselves. ok - some chai oatmeal and some steamy chai tea for a snack, then back to it.
Don't forget to check on friends that have a difficult time this time of year.

sending big hugs and surprises out!

click

2011-11-20T16:31:00.002-05:00

a year ago, I had the good fortune to meet Nicola Taylor ... she being a brave heart that stayed in a huge huge cabin alone for 2 nights, despite offers to come stay at my cabin with the 4 of us. I just peeked in at her website and am speechless - amazing photography! See if you agree....

popping in

2011-11-20T08:19:00.002-05:00

from Brian Andreas, Storypeople:

It's taken me a long time to get here, he said, so I don't really care if it's wrong.

He told me one time he forgot himself & his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch & he tried for days to put it all back in proper order but finally he gave up & left it all jumbled up there in a pile & loved everything equally.

By the way...there's a SALE(!) at my website! These are one-of-a-kind pieces ...when they're gone, they are just gone! (except the prints, of course, which are limited).

wishing you a week filled with magic & surprises....

2011-11-17T09:35:00.001-05:00

quick peek in...

like cupcakes? try this one...

2011-11-16T15:18:00.002-05:00

i'll be taking a few days off to snuggle with my pillow, eat lots of ginger, and recuperate from pneumonia.
meanwhile, there's a lot going on, so when i get back, we'll talk, pop open some champagne and celebrate!

my bad

2011-11-15T07:50:00.002-05:00

The other day, I received a call from a friend who had tried to order something from my website...bad news - when I upgraded to my own domain name, the "contact" link didn't follow...first, my apologies. and now the good news - from now through Christmas, I'm offering 10% off and free shipping, as way of making nice. As usual, if you have a specific word(s) you want hancrafted, there is no extra charge. Now is a good time to have your company name emblazoned shamelessly on a copper or sterling necklace - wear it as advertising, or give/offer it as an added-value item with your "product."
Intuitive word consultations are still available, as well!

wishing you a bold Tuesday!

i stand corrected

2011-11-14T14:35:00.003-05:00

recently, I did a series about business "stuff" i had to share. One of the companies that I recommended was Vistaprint. I apologize, and withdraw that recommendation.

(rest of long, rambling codeine-laced post has been deleted. I should know better than to post when my brain & fingers are not in sync!)

now go look at the previous post for something even stranger...

a chihuly veggie?

2011-11-14T08:22:00.003-05:00

i know, right? i saw this in the grocery store and said What The Hey?? I have no idea what it is, but had to buy it just for the oddness of it. now THIS will inspire some art!
today's plan is to make some ornaments for the tree at Szozda Gallery. i have some definite ideas that involve some nicely patina-ed copper, some solder, and a wren. we'll see how that goes. i may get that renovation i've wanted after all, if the torch doesn't cooperate.
planning to spend a busy studio day to try to catch up on everything i've let go while being a couch slacker these past few weeks. am STILL sick - in fact, it feels like i've gone backwards, but i can't lay around till january, right? or can i?
this would be the perfect week to re-do the master bedroom, as husband dropped in briefly last night, then is gone again till friday, when he drops in, re-packs and goes away for the weekend. i have some plans, but no stamina. maybe hiring out is the key here.
but for now, i wish you a great start to the week, and many wonderful coincidences!

2011-11-12T07:38:00.001-05:00

taking (another) day to try to heal....go here and shop so I can buy more kleenex!

A-Mazing

2011-11-11T14:32:00.007-05:00

what's not to love about an overnight on husband's company at a casino resort? Everything is top shelf...

local art across an entire wall...(i think this is Margie Houghto, but didn't see a name)...

and this, my friends, is where the story becomes magical. The casino is owned by the Oneida Nation tribe. and they have a shop called Oneida Sky onsite, with Native American art & collectibles. There were a thousand things I wanted to bring home, but a row of kachinas grabbed my attention - specifically this guy

wrap 'em up! i knew i couldn't leave without it. It is a bear kachina, the salesclerk told me. hunh.
So i wandered down the hallway looking in shops and there was a cigar shop. on the floor were some of The Coolest empty cigar boxes...wood, hinged, all different kinds. the guy sold them to me for 2 bucks (probably his lunch money!). so i wandered back down the hallway, intending to make a beeline for the room and change for dinner, when i passed Oneida Sky again, and this time noticed the window display. Another kachina just drew me in...he had to come with me.

as she wrapped him up, the clerk said, "it's interesting that you picked 2 of the same:bear." i had no idea. she said that in the Oneida culture, Bear represents great power to cure the sick. well butter my butt and call me a biscuit - I'm sick! so i had a little meeting of the minds with my kachinas later, and darned if my cough stopped for the night & i got deep, restful sleep.
dinner was fabulous...the casino was kind to me, letting me keep a bit of my cash...we ordered room service breakfast and eased into the morning. it was hard to leave.
I took the long way home, down a county road, rather than the highway. Along the way, I passed a brightly colored victorian with "ART" written on a sign out front. screech. it turns out, there are 2 separate houses that feature over 48 local artists' work. i chatted with them for a while, and have opportunity to teach workshops in each. just past those places, and down the road a bit is a scrapbooking/altered art store i used to go to quite a bit, so i stopped in. by now, it's sleeting and raining at the same time. i popped in, and my 2 favorite people were working. Kathy stopped her class, and introduced me to them - felt like a rock star. then she asked me to tell them my story. wow. so i did, and along the way realized just how far I'd come in a few short years...and also how far I want to go. I've been standing still for a while, getting in my own way, as i tried to figure out where i wanted to head...how big i dared to dream, and how big i'd have the stamina for. i do believe i can reach for that star that i wished on, with God's help, and He knows I'm not getting any younger, so i expect big things to happen sooner rather than later. i was so energized by the time i got home, that i cleaned the house, did the laundry and walked the diva (in the sleet/rain/snow 35-degrees). husband ran in the door from his convention, shucked off his clothes, put on his jeans and GoreTex, and headed out to the woods for a weekend with the Men Who Wear Camo. a nice weekend in the studio awaits. ahhhhhhh.

2011-11-09T17:06:00.003-05:00

wow - a 3-fer.
Today was warm...a light jacket over a thin long-sleeved top, sitting on the back step with a new magazine...pup was hunting for a bone she'd left somewhere. As is her usual routine, she came up and snuggled in against my legs looking for a puppy massage. she hasn't gotten nearly enough attention lately, so i soothed her old bones and scratched in her favorite spots, not stopping til she was ready to go look for her bone again. i read a few sentences, and she was back for more. always when we do this, i end it by giving her a kiss on top of her head, saying "and there's where the extra love is, in case you run out." off she went to chew on her reclaimed bone. a few sentences later - the face of a little arctic fox was staring intently at me. more, please. i asked her "did your love run out already?" and then i realized what the lesson was: love isn't meant to be stored up for later...it's meant to be used up fully and recharged and refilled.

2011-11-09T08:59:00.002-05:00

i will be honest with you (because i always am here)...I'm terrified. There has been no change in my hearing loss in 2 weeks. despite antibiotics, and changes of antibiotics and decongestants and warm water flushes and just about every thing else you can think of. I'm afraid there will be permanent damage. and I hate that I've been so focused on health in this space, but that's the way it is right now. Please send up your prayers, or let me know of something you've tried that works. Local ENT's are booking into December, and really don't seem to care if something is urgent...they refer to someone else, who refers you back to the original call you made, in a big circle.
Thank you for your prayers....
I remain grateful that, as an artist, it is my hearing rather than my vision or my hands. I am able to make art. That would be a cruel test, I believe, to lose eyesight or use of my hands. I'm not sure if that's a test I would pass, either, and don't wish it on anyone.
now, enough of that.
I am totally enjoying Judy Wise's encaustic class! I highly recommend it...she holds back nothing. I can smell the wax through the computer :)
another thing I'm chomping at the bit for is Christine's new book....am anxiously & not too patiently awaiting it's release and placement in my hands. Her other book, Ordinary Sparkling Moments, remains one of my favorites, and I've reread it numerous times. (which is totally unusual for me).
I'm enjoying some cuddle time with diva, and even bulimia cat snuck up on my bed last night after diva went into her closet woobie. the nights are getting colder, and they are getting cozified. time to break out the hot chocolate! I'm looking for a chocolate chai to send me over the edge of reality. me+chai= nirvana.
other beautiful things...the intense last colors of fall...the view from my studio window just blazing with golds, butterscotch and coppery reds...my japanese maple has turned from deep maroon to the most intense, clear red - seemingly electrified in the morning sun...chai oatmeal for breakfast...cozy slippers on my feet...a gift from a friend - a sketchbook and a tin of 1 billion pastel pencils...the smell of matte medium once again wafting from my worktable...textures being formed on gessobord and claybord, as stories appear...an ant walking across my wet collage, reminding me of his message to "trust that you will succeed in accomplishing your dreams..." Through the woods and to my pond, a Great Blue Heron has been hanging around - taking flight when I get too near, circling above my head, then disappearing in it's camouflage...mama cardinal feeding fearlessly at the window feeder, as kitten leaps high up and tags the window from the inside (the chipmunks don't fear him/her either, as they sit nose-to-nose separated by a glass pane by the sliding door in my livingroom...so many things to be grateful for...so many things to count as blessings...

from Paulo Coehlo

2011-11-09T08:27:00.002-05:00

"...only mediocrity is sure of itself..."

wishing you a day of scary/fun risk taking.........

i know, i know

2011-11-08T17:02:00.002-05:00

was it a mere few hours ago that i was all about quiet self-care and walking slowly & all wabi sabi and fruit & nuts? was it? ok, well, it was. but... then i went into my newly cleaned-up studio to check on my sample board of Kroma Crackle. and that's when the adrenaline started pumping. yes. yes. yes. i am crushin on this stuff. go there now and look, but come right back. i'll wait.

ok - see! was i telling the truth? yes. the possibilities are just endless. and not just in the traditional collage, painting, blah blah blah use...think assemblage and fabric and whatevah. i'm going to try it on some encaustic work soon. it won't stick to the wax, but if you gouge out a section or area, and fill it with the KC, then after it dries, apply a light light coat of wax medium to seal it, it will be there for eternity. the usual dry time is 1-3 days, but Michael DeMeng, ever the mad scientist, found a quick dry method that he shares on their website. (though i recommend a workshop with him anyway, because he's just so incredibly talented and funny, and does appreciate a good martini.)
The bad thing: it's only sold wholesale to stores - not to individuals. so badger your local art supply store to get this in. they are liberal with the samples to the store, so they can try it out.
ok...now i can rest again. no choice. i can't hear a thing, so TV is out of the question.

out my window today

2011-11-08T13:40:00.005-05:00

yesterday's butterscotch colors gave way to today's brilliant golds...

with a bit of blazing red....

and over at the pond, a lone lilypad drifts lazily ...

the geese & ducks are queuing up, practicing formations for their migration south...such a commotion as they decide who will lead and who will co-pilot.
we've been blessed with a few more warm days...the sun on my back as I visit the soon-barren trees through the woods path...chipmunks scurrying to fill their cheeks and nests to guard against hunger in the coming months...they know they'll find a good meal in my yard, though. today i began getting moulds ready for suet making - gathering sunflower heads and cranberries and nuts to help against the times when snow will bury the food supply. i love visiting the farmer's market & finding a huge sunflower head to hang from the Japanese Maple by twine...winter cardinals, brilliant red against the snow, feeding from it. my gift back to nature for all it's given me.
spending a quiet day of self care & healing creativity...finding center and balance and core...listening to my body, as it shuts out the world in order to get my attention...

diva snuggled on her woobie by my worktable...kitten snuggled in her cozy nest by the french doors, soaking up the afternoon's rays of sunlight...chalk and matte medium on my fingers...a trip later to the hills to visit the bison...breathing breathing breathing........

being filled with gratitude, and scruffing away those pointy parts that still say "if only..."

2011-11-07T08:52:00.002-05:00

i am still sick sick sick. Another Dr. appointment later today, and hopefully some answers, because darn it...I have too much to do!

traveling as fast in one direction as she can go before she has second thoughts & goes back to doing the same old stuff
-Brian Andreas

Here is a movie you really need to see, and if you live near me, it will be at the Auburn Theater Friday & Saturday:

now back to bed for me.

what? hunh?

2011-11-05T06:50:00.002-04:00

okay - day 3 of this ear thing...my left ear is completely useless for hearing, and good only for tucking my hair behind it. apparently there's fluid built up or some darn thing, but i've been taking all my medications like a good impatient patient, and still nothing. time for a second opinion i'd say. but not today, i'm afraid. today we celebrate husband's birthday. his mom and kids are coming in for what i hope is a harmonious convergence around the dinner table. he has requested a rib roast and turtle cheesecake. turtle cheesecake i can do (well, i can pick up) but the roast....let's just say I've been pretty much disrespecting every piece of meat, fish, and fowl that I've attempted to cook lately. I'm not known for cooking. well, i am, but not in a good way. but i had a streak of real culinary good luck for a while, which has left me. so hopefully the meal coach at Wegmans will be available to assist. he kinda ducks and runs when he sees me now, after my continued effusiveness and almost stalker-like adoration of him a few years ago. i was just so amazed that i could actually COOK after his instruction! it was a giant breakthrough. and apparently i did it so well that husband bought me a set of pots & pans for christmas that year. (safe place safe place). but i digress.
rough night attempting to sleep...accidentally took sudafed before bedtime. yeah, my total bad. so at 2:30am, still tossing and turning, i rolled over on the tv remote (which had been left on the bed when husband slinked away to his friend's house for a birthday drink) and wow! the flurry of fur flying was amazing...diva dog jumped up and started running down her ramp at the foot of the bed (what?) and noticed bulimia cat sleeping by the closet, so had to percolate that situation a bit before heading for the safety of her woobie in husband's closet, but first stepping on a hanger which scared her and set her to yowling. so i watched a few minutes of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and can i say: well, what can you say? People please. Please. that's all i have to say about that.
so don't forget daylight savings time tonight....want me to call you at 2am to remind you?

2011-11-04T08:23:00.001-04:00

by executive order, I am Amish today...I have an all-day conference with my pillow, some Augmentin & codeine, and lots of juice. see you on the other side!

2011-11-03T08:35:00.003-04:00

last night i decided today would be a totally indulgent self-care day so i could finally whoop this bronchitis-y thing. having lost hearing in my left ear yesterday, i decided maybe a dr. appointment was in order, and set one up for 1:15. till then, i would lay about on the couch watching movies, dozing, and wishing i had my mommy to make me oatmeal. i took some nyquil before bed, to assure i'd sleep through my usual 2am wake-up. a good plan, right? it truly was. until someone started calling the house at 4am on my husband's business phone. the line that has no answering machine, but instead has a loud voice that says "PLEASE ENTER YOUR CODE" repeatedly while the glaring metallic hum of a dialtone spews from the speaker. i would expect a DIVE! DIVE! DIVE! submarine announcement to follow. but addled by nyquil, back to sleep i went. till 7am, when diva started fussing at me, tapping insistently on my eyes to open them. i got up, put on sweats and headed for the door to let her out, but she hadn't followed me...she was tucked into sleepy land. on my pillow. shazzbot. so i tapped on her, as is fair. coffee on, dog out, i am walking slowly with intention, so as to ease into the Day Of Indulgence And Rest. dog shrieking to come in. breathe deep. buddha breath. yes. calm-ish. i sit down on the floor to give her a puppy massage and EEEEEKKKK! a huge i mean HUGE monster tick is fattly gorging itself on her jawline. huge. and not pretty. ok, no panic. i heard something about olive oil and tweezers. grab them, grab her out from under the dining room table (no easy feat) and slather this nasty thing with olive oil, expecting, as i'd been told, that it would back right out and i would humiliate it and kill it dead. no luck, and diva was getting jiggy on the whole Stand Still thing. so i grasped it about the head area with tweezers and it flicked out. now i wondered if i got the head. furious texting to Perfect Stepdaughter who knows about these things, as she has a horse and 4 dogs. and checked the web. duh. rule #1 - don't use olive oil or baby oil. it's a myth and could cause infection. great. but it's out, and the forgotten flea & tick medicine properly dispensed along her shoulder blades. she's better, chasing bulimia cat, who has learned to upchuck on the fly. clean that up and realize i am a Big Dreamer if i think i can relax in this house at any time. maybe the Dr will run late, and I can nap in the exam room waiting in that chic paper gown thing.

2011-11-02T08:52:00.003-04:00

In the past few weeks, I've had many conversations with some artists and small business owners that I know. They've expressed the same emotions (in varying degrees) about the coming holidays (have you heard the christmas music already in the stores??). the range goes from cautiously hopeful, to flop-sweat-scared. yes, it's a bad economy for nearly everyone, or so the papers & TV & radio tell us. yes, my household is getting by, but just that...no trips to St. Thomas & the P.Diddy mansion this year, for sure. Maybe a splurge on a weekend away nearby, but excess just feels vulgar to me right now. But in those conversations, a running theme appeared...the frustration that, although the General Speak is about sustainability and buying local and such, they, as artists & craftspeople, are not seeing it in their order histories. They are closing up shop, so to speak, and pulling up their tents from festivals, vendor opportunities and shops. Their work, regrettably will no longer be offered at the events we enjoy throughout the good weather days. This summer, I observed...being new to the art & craft festival scene, i paid particular attention to what people were buying - if anything - and which events drew the crowds. Many of the heavily attended events had fewer artisans showing their work this year than in any year past. Many fine craftspeople had already said that the hard work of getting to the event, setting up their booth and display, paying for their booth space, a hotel room and meals, and staffing the booth - all that - just wasn't worth it to them when the pluses and minuses were added up. "Maybe they aren't making things people want," you may say..."or maybe they haven't gotten the word out that they exist," is another thought. But the conversations I've had are with some of the most incredible writers and artists and small business owners...they have done everything they can think of to try to promote themselves, all-the-while making their craft or running their store, and running a household, and all that goes into being a small business owner/artist/writer/etc. They look at some of their fellow small biz friends who seem to be living the Vida Loca, and it makes them feel worse, and ashamed, and doubting of their incredible skill/talent/niche in this world. I don't know what the answers are, I really don't. I would say, on their behalf as well as my own, buy local or buy small biz. The website or small shop or small gallery you enjoy visiting may not be there for you, without your support. My dad always bought Girl Scout cookies or raffle tickets hawked by the kids who came to the door. He wanted to be sure he was supporting something that needed his help, and to be fair - he loved those cookies! Sometimes even a note to the craftsperson/small business/etc saying something like "i love your work, and hope to be able to purchase some someday" is enough to get people through. no, it won't pay the rent, but as small business people, knowing they are visible and appreciated can mean a big huge lot.
Maybe it's the bronchitis making me all sentimental today, but i say this to my fellow artists: be true, be authentic, keep on. it isn't an easy life we've chosen, but it is the one we were born to do.
As I write this, I'm wondering if i've done enough to help you get to know some of the amazing people i know. Maybe in the coming weeks, I'll introduce you to some of my friends...some, amazing successes, and some just dipping their toes into this crazy life.
for today - i wish you Godwinks and good food.
Linda

wise words

2011-11-01T10:00:00.003-04:00

nothing. ever. fails.

Mick Fleetwood from pat solomon on Vimeo.

Finding your bliss

Chungliang Al Huang from pat solomon on Vimeo.

passionate?

Sir Ken Robinson from pat solomon on Vimeo.

you are exactly who you are supposed to be...

Reverend Rebecca Armstrong from pat solomon on Vimeo.

some truths I've learned during this year of Trust. As the year winds down, I spend quiet time discerning what the coming year's lesson for me will be. I'm getting an inkling, but it hasn't fully shown itself to me yet. It promises to be amazing in it's ability to let me give back as much (and more) as I've been given in this lifetime so far. and that excites me to no end. i feel the groundwork of the construction being laid right now...much like when you drive past a worksite wondering what the heck they're building - a hotel? a housing development? a restaurant? it isn't until the final stages are being prepared that it becomes clear what the building will be.
wishing you truths today.

PS........

2011-11-01T07:39:00.002-04:00

some sweet wonderful for you (ignore the commercials)

and, from StoryPeople:

He told me one time he forgot himself & his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch & he tried for days to put it all back in proper order but finally he gave up & left it all jumbled up there in a pile & loved everything equally.

2011-11-01T07:06:00.004-04:00

let's see if i can entertain you with a few more pictures, while i hit the couch & continue to blow my nose...

(they're here)

And it's the countdown to Christine's new book!!
That's all I have energy for right now...this Whatever Has Invaded My Body is kicking my behind. so a nap, then some cool creativity that I've been looking forward to for a few weeks!!

lots o' this

2011-10-31T07:34:00.007-04:00

Big Lottery Win

2011-10-30T08:05:00.003-04:00

Thank you Jessie J on endless repeat for saving my week.

and so i choose to focus on this one Just One Incident in an attempt to reclaim my zen and Go Make Art. Arms full, towels, washcloths, TP, paper towels...Mucinex DM & Sudafed on board, caffeine? check. dog howling downstairs from where I just loaded up my arms like a maid at the Marriott? check. husband snoring loudly in the next room in a pain pill induced coma-like slumber? check. full roll of paper towels slipping from arms and into toilet? check. bulimia cat going through her morning routine? check. now what's That Other Sound? that sound that sounds like an overfull washing machine? diva dog sick? check. my week has been one of cleaning up. I can't go into detail about just how scary & horrific some of these days have been, as I have been sworn to secrecy, but trust me, my zen has been trampled on so many times that i believe Buddha himself would have blown a gasket. so the paper towel Incident was the straw that broke the camel's back. and a loud Really Loud string of cobalt blue words flew from my mouth, projectile like, and hit the back wall of the bathroom, bounced back at me and went for another spin down the stairs toward where poor diva (who tried to warn me) was standing dejected next to the back door next to a pile of sick. i could really have used those paper towels.
the lottery win? it was my meditation...what i would do and how fast...sorry Jessie J...it would be about the money money money.

2011-10-29T04:03:00.002-04:00

a few quick random things... I stole this from Christine because it is so wonderful...meet you there virtually 11/11/11.
By the way, Christine has a new book due out in minutes, "Desire To Inspire." Sight unseen, I recommend this book. I own & cherish her other book, Ordinary Sparkling Moments, and have reread it so many times, there must be pages in it that are worn out blank. Christine writes from the heart, in an authentic way...this, I assure you, will not be a book thrown together for profit. Am I her #1 dork/fan? yes, I am. You should know someone as unbelievable as she is. On many levels.

Randomness #2...lessons from the ER: You can become so focused on a particular outcome, that the real answers, and better path, get missed.

now to catch up on a missed-day's work. Have you checked this out yet? I'm proud enough to hand out cigars.

my new home

2011-10-26T19:56:00.002-04:00

ya know, it doesn't take much to make me weepy and sentimental. especially when I'm sick. So while my ability to swing a hammer was impaired today, I caught up on some housekeeping and admin stuff. and guess what? that new website I just launched? It's still there, but thanks to some help from Yoni*, I am now the owner of my very own domain. (Seinfeld fans can zip it right here). I don't know - maybe it's a headscratcher for most people, but it's another leap into the reality of it all. (ha! you thought i was going to say "universe," right?). so i am now found at www.lindaesterleydesigns.com. I wish i could mix some champagne with my Nyquil. And i celebrate my first sales from the site today! i know....i'm a dork.
so tomorrow, diva, gramma, and I are off to Cornell Vet Hospital to see about Diva's lumps. She's been pretty particular about her food the past 3 days, so the fasting for 12 hours shouldn't be a problem. send good thoughts.
ok - back to Paulo Coelho.
sweet dreams, y'all!

* I have no idea who Yoni actually is, but he was the very patient account services guy from the website place who talked me through this whole thing.

2011-10-26T10:12:00.002-04:00

I'm bowing to the Gods of Mucus today, and calling in sick. The boss is tough, and will likely make me work over the weekend. I'm going to leave it at this, so I don't break into spontaneous sick-induced whining, since we all know I have much to be grateful for, and whining about ANYTHING would be an affront. so it's me & Nyquil & diva curled up on the couch with Paulo Coelho's new book. At least until the Nyquil takes hold, then it's off to the races. I always have the craziest dreams when i take that...and wake myself up laughing and muttering like a nutter. (Bulimia cat sneaks upstairs and sleeps on diva's woobie whenever he/she can - which is now).
go here, just to make me happy.

waning

2011-10-25T07:34:00.002-04:00

i have had such a hard time concentrating and moving forward this past week...make that past few weeks. the last few days, at least i've had the excuse of sinus headaches and sore throat, but it's still been a blah blah blah few weeks, it seems. Much to do but no connections. you know what i mean? i think there may be something burbling to get out, which is usually how this malcontentedness signals...a new piece or series or material trying to shove it's head out of my head. and it's not like i walked around zombified... there was the excitement of having my Talisman necklaces worn by models in Fashion Week last week, and the hustle of setting up my work (at the same time as making 18 necklaces in 2 days) at the Holiday House. (then taking it down after organizer issues closed it). i have just been too tired this past month to really dig in to what i need to get done. bone tired. staring at the tv from the couch all evening tired. even when it's a dumb show like Real Housewives tired. (do those women realize how incredibly self-involved they are? yes i get it - and i don't sneer at them for having money. it's just that i wonder if they realize that a few miles down the road, where the air is not so rare, there are actual people that need some help, and what these women spend on a birthday party for a 2 year old is more than some people make in 5 years slogging through life. rant over). I'm grateful for the studio lighting i have - bright "daylight spectrum" tubes in large fixtures over my worktable. i never know it's dark out! and the color is great - no flourescent-y tones or hot spots. not to worry - i'm not sad or depressed or anxiety-ridden...just tired. maybe this sinus/throat thing is kicking my behind a bit more than i think. but now is the time i should be ramping up for christmas orders and opportunities. but blessed fruit loops, i could just go back to bed for a week. i am lovin me Judy Wise's Hot Wax class! yessir! and i am hoping to go here in July, which means i should get my butt in gear and make some stuff! so go here and help send an artist to camp! I have some new talismans i'll be adding this week (from the fashion week show) that are so cool...one is made out of a silver salt shaker that was used in dinner service on American Airlines First Class section. not sayin how i got it, but it was a joy to find and work with. so, time to pull myself together here and get ready for a meeting. wishing you a fantastic light-filled day with much laughter!

2011-10-23T18:45:00.021-04:00

ya know when you go to someone's house and they want to show you their vacation pictures and you want to chew out your own eyes so you won't have to live through it? here's the blogger equivalent ... sort of ...here, in random order, are some of my favorite things, and other stuff thrown in. i'm too tired to write a pithy post, so i'll bore you with photos. (but this counts as a post).
ok. a photo journey through my world (not the scary parts though)

Me:

yes, Pat, it snows here: (not yet though):

my future ex-husband wearing my coat:

my current husband with supervision:

My Lake:

My home:

Lavender field:

heron in the hood:

Monk-ying around:

my heart to you:

one day I went to Wegmans, and they had just gotten in a ton of gerbera daisies (my favorite), and I was feeling low low low. They were so fresh & bright & happy, and I had a charge card and couldn't decide which color to get. so i got a dozen of each. and boy do you ever need a lot of vases to keep that load of flowers in. i was giving them away like crazy. so i got the flowers, which made me happy, AND i got to give some (a lot) away, which made me happy again AND made someone else happy: (when the bill came, i wasn't so happy):

a cape I made for Stevie Nicks:

Favorite place on earth: Eldorado:

Favorite book:

The boy that started it all...my Kita. I started this blog when he passed away, to try to express how much he meant to me. In the years since i started, I've not been successful in doing that. i loved him too much.:

yes. Diva. the bane of kitten's existence. she is needy, cuddly, scared of everything from burps to cameras to umbrellas to laundry being folded. her favorite color is pink, specifically her pretty pink collar with jewels on it. (not real jewels). sometimes i put of slotch of pink eye shadow on her head & she feels all princess-like. (yes, i am a freak). if you ever come to my house, and she's rushing at you with her pointy parts first, say the words "pretty pink collar" and she'll stop in her tracks. for real. unfortunately, there have been a few people i forgot to give this info to, and to them, i apologize. Diva is slowing down now, and even though i try not to love her too much, i have not been successful:

and speaking of laundry...bulimia cat:

are you bored yet?
baby:

we got married here, and return every July:

That's it for now. whew boy aren't you glad for that! okay, so next time i won't attempt to post until i actually have something to say.

wishing you all a happy, productive week, with twinkledust surprises around every corner. i believe...do you?

2011-10-23T06:13:00.002-04:00

so after all the fanfare & hoo-haw about my new website, and after tweaking it incessantly and compulsively for over a week, i'm finally happy with it...i go out to google, and search "wix linda esterley" and (trumpet fanfare + confetti) Internal Server Error. what?? but i've worked so hard. i am closer to amish than technical, so i had to Teach Myself all this stuff and Redo Almost Every Page 10 times. and that's the best they can do?? oy vey. so i emailed them and got a very courteous & immediate response. automated, but prompt. and i replied to the automated response, thanking it for being so courteous & prompt, but reminded it that IT was, in fact, on a trial run basis with me Before I Upgraded to the Paid version. my exact reasoning for this, i further explained, was for this EXACT reason. what good is a website that no one can access? i await their reply.
in other news, i am knee deep in an online encaustic class and chomping at the bit to get waxy. i'm not actually doing the lessons, just looking on. i'm not sure why, but felt intuition that it should be this way, and i usually trust my gut. but it seemed important enough that i listen this time, so i am. maybe God knows what a bad mix Linda + fire is? or cooking of any sort, and this is close enough to cooking.
I have some really awesome photos of the leaves changing and of my afternoon spent with a Great Blue Heron. i used husband's camera, which he then took to photograph some eagles, and the camera (which has the card in it) is MIA. probably somewhere in his car. i'll check when the sun comes up and the skunks punch out for the day.
Diva dog goes to Cornell thursday to get her lumps checked. i can't say too much about that without getting all weepy. she's an old lady now, and i'm seeing some of the same behaviors that Kita exhibited right near the end. husband scoffs at me when i tell him, but i know what i know. nuff said here. Perfect stepdaughter texted me from college, telling me she's at the Humane Association and wants a dog. i reminded her we still have bulimia cat on loan here, and that she should have a baby instead, as it would be easier. what? yes i meant it. well, not that she should actually have a baby, but that it would be easier.
today i have plans to finish a Talisman necklace for a special order, hammer out a sample for a meeting on tuesday, and make some birds. i'll show you when i'm done. but right now, i need to find some socks, or convince diva to lay on my feet. and have breakfast (or is it lunch for me?). geez, isn't this the most thrilling post you've ever read? okay, i'll up the appeal later. after i find my camera.

2011-10-22T15:30:00.001-04:00

yes yes i know, but too much artful wonderfulness going on today, so i'll post tomorrow. okee dokey?

2011-10-20T16:36:00.003-04:00

did i just mention having a new website? well, like a terrier with a new bone, I've been tweaking it compulsively for 2 days now. I hope to have more assemblages showing soon, but the files I have are huge, so i have to make them smaller before i can upload them. but it is such a relief to have that done. so much so that i took little diva for a walk through the woods today, and it is blowing like crazy...tree limbs down, and leaves dropping like it's a contest. and the leaves are completely covering the path, so it's hard to see the edge of where we usually walk. right next to the incline that heads directly into the water. the somewhat chilly water. yes. hard to see it. and when you carelessly threw on an old pair of worn out Crocs to walk the diva, because it was after 2:30pm and you just showered and felt guilty, well, then it's even harder to stay on a path that you can't see the edge of, that is next to a very steep incline that ends in a chilly pond. and when your hair get blown in your eyes, and you close your eyes - even just for a second - while you are walking, and sort of toss your hair out of your face (not in a haughty, Beverly Hills way, just in a central New York windy day way) then it's easy to see how & why your foot may step down just the slightest bit to the left, and soon, as your inner ear alerts your brain to the fact that There Is Trouble Afoot, there is pandemonium of the highest order. and it rained last night, and it rained again harder this morning. and wet leaves on muddy ground are certainly the perfect slip 'n slide surface kids dream about finding when they have their playclothes on. not quite as big a thrill for an adult, however, who has just gotten out of a way-to-late-in-the-day shower, with her clean jeans and sweatshirt on, even though she's wearing old Crocs. no. not so much of a thrill. and I must remember to thank Jesus for the hickory tree that saved me from baptism in the pond. yes - that old hickory that i bear the marks of right now. and all the while, as i was headed for a splashdown worthy of NASA, i was watching the incredulous expression on diva's face as she wondered why/if i expected her to follow. she was stupified as to why anyone would do something so incredibly dumb. so she pointedly ignored me, and turned her attention to some buffet item on the forest floor. it is no wonder to me why people become agoraphobic. they do not need intervention. they have once themselves been on such a walk, and realized it just isn't worth the effort sometimes.

my new website!

2011-10-19T16:47:00.002-04:00

ok, i finally shamed myself into finishing my website, after preaching about how important it is to have one...i plan to upgrade to my own domain in a few days, but wanted to preview it before spending extra money. check it out and let me know your thoughts...you can be my focus group!

one last note

2011-10-18T14:23:00.002-04:00

I got an email asking that I re-emphasize the fact that you must analyze your financials closely...you have to have a good grasp on where you are spending money, and where/if you are making money. it's essential. you may get a huge order for your product, but still be in the red. you also have to know how much each piece/service costs you to provide, so you'll know if you're charging enough. when i get gemstones in, i divide the cost of the stones including shipping, taxes, etc, so i know exactly how much each stone costs me to use. if you own a cleaning business, you need to figure out your costs per mile to travel, costs for cleaning supplies, wear & tear on your equipment...anything that makes it possible for you to do your job. don't forget phone bills and computer/internet, also. the first time i did a show, someone offered me $65 for a very intricate, heavily beaded sterling silver necklace. (it's poor form to try to negotiate at a gallery, by the way). i knew to the penny how much that necklace had cost me in materials, never mind time. so the necklace had been priced appropriately, and i explained that to the gentleman. had i not known, i may have been thrilled to have a sale of any kind, and gone for it.
"mind the bodega," as my aunt used to say.

the end of the journey

2011-10-18T06:54:00.004-04:00

so now you have a product you're excited about, have an accounting system in place, have a business plan completed, your pencils are sharpened and your inventory all ready to go. how do you make the phone ring? there are several schools of thought about marketing and advertising and websites and social media, etc etc. I would say the #1 thing to have is a website with e-commerce. (yes, i know - do as i say, not as i do). that way, if a person sees you at a festival but doesn't purchase, hopefully they've taken your card and can buy online. people wanting to re-order don't have to wait for the next festival, or next gallery show, or home show, etc. it also gives legitimacy to your business. along that line, have a "corporate ID." even if you aren't a corporation. simply put, it's creating a pleasing logo/tagline, etc, that reflects your business aesthetic. it will be on all your media & advertising. (think Golden Arches). it's matching the sheets and pillowcases, if you will. if your biz cards are different from your website, it's confusing...it looks like 2 different businesses. if you aren't good at that sort of thing, call a professional. your image is as important as your quality. cheaply made biz cards done on an inkjet printer using clipart, will reflect poorly on your business. (inkjet smears & disappears when it gets wet, btw). i am using Assante Design because he is a maniac about detail, and has local and national accounts. this is important to me, because i want my ID to relate to my local area, but want a larger appeal. Leonard Assante has that experience, so he can design for me with that in mind. my logo, biz cards, letterhead, etc, will all match. repetition helps the customers remember you. there is a local artist that does art festivals, and has a purple tent. she has had to argue with many event organizers about this (as most want standard white tents) because people look for her purple tent at every festival. even if they forget her name, they remember the tent. this is part of her corporate ID. don't cheap out here...spend what you can reasonably afford...this is your chance to make a good, professional first impression. if you really really cannot afford these services, at least tie everything together - Vistaprint allows you to order products with your chosen design, whether uploaded, or using one of theirs. i've matched my biz cards, banners, t-shirts and hats.
as far as social media, i'm personally not certain it's essential to have a facebook page. my personal feeling is no. i closed my facebook account, as it was more of a timesuck than it was an advertising vehicle, and due to the recent facelift it's gotten, there is an overwhelming negative response. any ad message you would post could become lost between the announcements of potty training and YouTube links, etc.
I recently got an email from a store that offered a huge secret discount if you Liked them on Facebook. i went to their store and asked for the discount anyway, advising them that i don't use facebook. they were unaware of the promo, and said they never have seen a referral from their facebook page. my gut feeling is that with artwork (in particular) people want to see it in person, touch it, experience it. a website will help sales after the customer becomes familiar with your work. for service-related businesses, a website will do a nice job. it is your 24/7 sales rep! make absolutely, positively certain that there are no typos or misspelled words. make certain that the servers are reliable - ask how many outages they've had in the past 12 months, and how long they lasted...and what they attributed the outages to. busy holiday shopping traffic can bring a server to it's knees...do you want your customers frustrated and going elsewhere?
other forms of marketing really depend on your product or service. selling jar openers at a flea market may work great, but don't expect designer fashions to do well. this ties in with your biz plan. I will say that I have never had a followup sale from any item donated to charity for an auction. not once, and no matter how high the bidding got. as i mentioned before, donate if you choose to, but do it because you like the charity and want to help...not because it's free advertising. it just doesn't pay off, and the write-off is not for the retail value of the piece, as i understand it. i have 1 charity that i will donate to every year, and because it's a cause that's very close to my heart. i donate 1 piece, and it's usually a piece i make specifically for them.
the best advertising i've had is myself. i go to events that i know my target market is at, and wear a piece of jewelry that i know they will be interested in. in doing this, i get a night out, and am promoting my work. this is where your 30-second elevator speech needs to be polished and perfected. invariably, when you meet someone, one of the first pieces of information exchanged is "what do you do for a living?" or similar.
another way to get your name out is to join a professional business organization. In my area, we have a group called Women TIES. (Together Inspiring Entrepreneurial Success). this is a group that is focused on business...hosting retreats with national and local speakers, and short lunchtime speakers and meetings. A wealth of information can be gained from these speakers, and members, and they also do "speed networking." i was put off by this at first - sounded too much like speed dating. then i realized i would have the opportunity to present my business to as many 150 other business people in an hour or so. what could be bad about that? again - the elevator speech is essential - you have 30 seconds to 1 minute to "give your schpeel" and then the person you're paired with does the same. then you move to the next person. have a large stack of biz cards in one hand! it may sound shallow and shark-like, but it is effective. you are there to promote your business, and to see if there may be a business or service that you can use. there are no illusions about these events - they are for networking & marketing. it isn't a kaffeeklatsch or whine session. you dress professionally and present your best self. and it works. i established a connection with 4 people at a recent event. it's now up to me to nurture those connections into sales. i first heard about this organization over 10 years ago (i think it was that long ago) and to this day remember a sugar artist i met, and will always give her name out as a source for anyone needing a cake that's out of the ordinary. (think Cake Boss and Charm City Cakes). even if a woman i met couldn't use my product, she'll remember it and pass my name along. if you're a man, think of the organizations you can join, or are already a member of ...Optimist Club, etc. Remind them of what you do, or let them know what you are starting up, and perhaps offer a bonus for buying your product or for referrals. (13 T-shirts for the price of 12, or free design or shipping, etc). discounts work, but then you may see everyone asking for a discount. who hasn't bragged to someone that they only paid $X for something, not realizing they were getting a deal? then the referral wants the same price. it is important that your core values match that of the group you are joining...if you join a group just for the marketing potential, they'll smell you a mile away and it could do more harm than good. and it just isn't nice. every person you meet is an opportunity to market yourself, which could translate into a sale. people remember kindness. if you hire sales people, or phone people, be absolutely certain that they are reflecting your mission and core values. i recently changed doctors because the phone people and front desk people were just so disinterested in me as a patient (the person that ultimately pays their salary), that calling for an appointment & going to the office did not leave me with a good feeling. the Dr. herself was wonderful, but the total experience was not what i felt i deserved as a patient. the same is true with your product. unless you have a patent on the cure for the common cold, people have a lot of choices, and they will go where they feel appreciated and respected as an individual. yes - even if you're selling mousetraps.
to backtrack - also in the realm of corporate image....make your packages nice. not only the gift box, or product packaging, but the box it is shipped in. if you've scrawled the person's name on the side with a ballpoint pen, and slapped some twisted up packing tape on it, that says a lot about how much you care about your product. this summer, i was swamped with orders, and i am also the shipping person in my business of 1. there were many days when i handwrote the address with a Sharpie on the side of the box, because i hate shipping so much, and just wanted to be done with it. i regret that, as it just wasn't as professional as it should have been. print out a nice label, or print out the address on a computer and cover it with packing tape. (the post office will love you too!). regarding mailing - always always get a delivery confirmation or tracking number. always. they cost very little, and can save your reputation and save you an argument at the post office. i attach the receipt from the postage sale to the confirmation receipt, and file that in my Outbound Order file. once the package arrives safely, i can file it in the completed orders. if it doesn't arrive within the specified time, i can go online and see what the heck happened to it, and contact the carrier. also, if the item is valuable ($100 or more) or irreplaceable, always insure it. i have sent one-of-a-kind necklaces to clients that were expensive and irreplaceable. for those, i always take detailed photographs of the piece before wrapping it up. that way, if it gets lost in shipping, i can provide the shipper with the photos, the delivery/tracking number, and hopefully collect insurance. it also provides me with a record to show the client that i did, in fact, ship it on time, and it's the carrier that dropped the ball. i keep the photo, and the receipts in my client's file for future reference in case they call and say, "remember that necklace you made me?"
there is a tremendous amount of organization involved in keeping things running smoothly and appropriately. i usually take 1 day as an administrative day to run errands for supplies, go to the dreaded post office or shipper, and get my paperwork under control. if i had an unlimited amount of cash to spend, i'd hire someone to do the shipping. i just don't like it. but i would do the bookwork and filing myself, as it gives me a chance to look at what is selling and where, and also what needs inventory. it's a great way to focus. i use that time to play with spreadsheets too, to see where i need to improve marketing or if it's time to re-contact clients, etc.
it's difficult to say what is the most important aspect of starting a business, or what the most important 1st step should be, because everything is linked together...for example: creating a website first requires photographing your product, first creating a corporate ID so the website & photo styling reflect the business in the way you desire.
I would say that a business plan (a plan for your business) should be done absolutely first before you purchase your first box of paper clips. (and save the receipt for those paper clips!).
If you have anything further you'd like me to discuss, please let me know. i think these past few posts should get your mind going, anyway.
Again - I am not a business coach or professional business adviser...these are just my experiences and references to businesses I've used with success. your choices should be made based on your gut and knowledge and experience.
Although this is the end of the series, i am happy to answer any further questions - just post here, or contact me by email. (when you post, I get an email of it, which I have to approve before it's published. if you would prefer i not publish your comment or contact info, just say so and i'll read it from my email, but not publish it).
One last note: I freely share what i have learned. This is not always the case, and depending on your area, people are downright territorial and closed about sources and knowledge. this doesn't make me a better person, but if you are in a group that "takes" more than it "gives," you may want to spend your time better.
I hope I've given credit where credit is due on the information i've presented, if i missed something, please know it was not intentional and please let me know so i can correct that.
I wish you each great success with your endeavors...however you define success!

art festivals and fairs

2011-10-16T18:02:00.002-04:00

i have a little extra time while the washer is going, so i'll throw in a bit about arts & crafts festivals. Again, I'm no seasoned veteran of these festivals, but i'll share what i know.
first: apply online for an OPAL permit...it's free, and you must have it in order to collect tax on what you sell. it is required by the festivals, and very very often there are representatives from the IRS walking through looking for them to be displayed. when yours arrives, make a color copy to file, and have the other one laminated. this is not a tax ID number...this simply shows that you have the authority to collect tax. and pay tax. quarterly. do not be late, even if you owe nothing. this permit also will allow you to buy certain materials without paying tax on them. if the item will be used in resale, then no tax is collected by the seller. READ the tax website about this, though...don't trust my memory on that part.
Regarding festival applications: sept, october-ish is the time to start deciding where you want to apply. many applications are due in the early part of the year, believe it or not. There is usually an application fee, sometimes non-refundable. there is always a fee for your booth space at the festival. fees generally run between $50-$500+ and depends on how many years the fair has been running, how many people generally visit, average sales, and the level of professionalism of the artists that are accepted. this fee should be factored in when pricing your product. most require a jury process to get in. some require that your booth jury in as well. if this is your first year doing festivals, contact them and explain that. be prepared for them to either reject your application, or require a detailed description of your planned setup. the items that jury in are generally the only ones that will be allowed to be shown, and if you run out of necklaces and decide to put some of your collages up instead, the people running the show can ask you to shut down, forfeiting your fees and your time.
There are many types of booths you can buy. the most popular is the ProPanel. it's a bit pricey, depending on what you add in, but plan to pay around $1200. absolutely essential is the EZ-Up tent to cover the booth. there is nothing EZ about setting up the tent or the booth. just sayin. it is well worth the investment to get the screen sides with the regular sides that come down. this will allow air flow with the tarps rolled up, and protection from the rain with them down. (and it always rain at least 1 day!). practice setting this up at home a few times before getting to your venue. you often have to squeeze in between 2 other vendors that are already set up. invest in the weight set for the legs. some sporting goods stores have them, too. they are weights that have a cut-out in them that fit around the legs of the tent. the propanels are inside the tent, and attached by velcro strips. be sure to get a tent with a vent flap at the top, but be aware of where it is, in case it leaks. the vent is important in case of wind - if your tent lifts off, it will take your display with it to Oz. and should it decide to knock into a neighboring tent and smash their beautiful display of blown glass, you are technically (and legally) responsible for the damage. you can afford weights more than you can afford the damage. and hard feelings. and possibly being black-listed from festivals. also, have a high desk or table near the back, with a directors chair and stool. people are more likely to come into your booth and look around if you are out of the way. sitting near the front entrance may provide more room inside, but the customer will have to turn away from your work to talk to you, rather than stay engaged. it also makes them feel like they're being watched. when someone enters your booth, greet them warmly, and let them know you're the artist and will be happy to answer any questions. stay off your cell phone during the show. it is rude, and lets potential customers leave. if you do any type of craft that can be worked on during the show, bring a piece to work on. it will give interested prospective customers a chance to see why that small beaded purse costs so much...all that work! plus it gives an opportunity to establish a rapport with a potential customer. if you do custom work, this would be the time to explain that. any person who sets foot inside your tent is a potential customer. treat them like a guest. at a recent art fair, the guy in the tent next to me started selling bottled water from a cooler for $1. he made a ton of cash. it was scorching hot out. i'm not sure how the health department felt about that, or if there are rules/licensing regarding that. but certainly keep a cooler packed with small "pods" of bottled water in the back, behind the desk. i can't see a problem with giving a free bottle to a customer who made a purchase, telling them "you look warm! here - take one of my waters." you are now a hero.
always always put your biz card in with the package. I use Vistaprint for my cards. make sure they are easy to read. i made the mistake of putting too much on the front of my card, and when they arrived, i could hardly read my contact info. they were only $3.99 for 250, so i redid them with just my biz name & contact info (usually website and phone) on the front, and splurged $6.99 and had the description of my business on the back. this will free up enough room to make the font bigger.
Spend some money on boxes and bags, too. I use ULINE or Clearbag and have found their service and quality spectacular. (i recently bought some mats for prints at Clearbag, and noticed that the top mat was a little fuggly, due to the shrinkwrap. i called to let them know, and advised them that it wasn't an issue for me at all...just wanted to let them know. guess what? a few days later, they sent me a pack of new mats -free- with a personal note from the head of the QA department thanking me). you can attach your biz card to the top of a plain gift box to eliminate buying a decorative box, and also have your name right on top. the boxes at ULINE are so ridiculously cheap that there's no excuse not to have them. and it presents a much more polished appearance.
ok, so now you've applied, paid, juried in, paid again, have a booth, a tent, a directors chair, boxes & bags, your cell phone & charger with your Square, a receipt book, and pens. stay organized...get 3 large sterlite tubs for all your supplies. 1 tub should have the miscellaneous hooks and screws and velcro for the tent & booth. i usually also put in a hammer, screwdriver, extra roll of velcro from hardware store, T-pins, straight pins, safety pins, table cover, and a small basic tool kit. in the 2nd tub, put your signage (including your beautiful banner from Vistaprint that matches your biz cards), your table cover could go in here instead of the other bin, all of your cashier items: bags, boxes, Square, change purse/bank bag, pens, shipping style tags, extra price tags, a small Dollar Store clipboard to put your receipt book on, a biz card holder, scotch tape, scissors, stapler, a notebook for people to sign up for your mailing list, another notebook for special orders (or use a different section of the other notebook - but don't forget those orders are there!). anything that you would touch to write up and package a sale should go in bin #2. This is your office in a tub. just a quick note about money: always keep it ON you. it will get ripped off, i promise, unless you do. people have had entire cash boxes grabbed. i wear a small pouch that crosses in front of me AND ZIPS SHUT, so my money is always either in front of my body, or on my hip. every so often, i'll clip a bunch of bills together, so when i reach in to make change, i'm not pulling out a super-sized wad of cash. it feels nicer to a customer to think they have just purchased one of a small number of sales. plus, a wad of cash is not safe to flash around. i usually start with $100 bank, mostly 1's and 5's. figure out how much your items will be with tax, and see if you'll need change change too. The 3rd tub should be for your miscellaneous personal stuff: a cooler or insulated lunch bag (i use one of those large Wegmans insulated zipped bags) with your lunch, snacks, lots of water, a wet washcloth, paper towels, aspirin, travel sized deodorant/mouthwash/hand soap, baby powder, and anything else you can think of to freshen up, should you get the opportunity. Last summer, I had a booth at the Downtown Arts & Crafts festival. the bathroom was a block away, and my booth partner had to cancel the day before the show. It was hotter than the hubs of hell all 3 days. I was lucky to have a friend come relieve me twice a day, and when I got to the bathroom, i took full advantage of the time to wash my face, reapply deodorant, brush my teeth, etc. It improved my whole outlook, and i'm sure the customers appreciated it! I know some of these suggestions may sound silly, but trust me, if you are comfortable, you'll project a happier, more inviting image. you only have 2 or 3 days to make some money, after all.
If you accept checks, make a photocopy of the name/address before depositing them. add these people to your mailing list.
make friends with the other vendors around you...you may learn about other venues, or venues to avoid. there is a camaraderie that develops between the vendors that's nice.
If the organizer comes by your tent, thank them for their hard work in getting everything together for the show. it is one of the most difficult jobs to juggle all the details, and all the egos, involved in putting on a festival.
try to plan a day off after a festival. you'll need it.
Festivals can be very lucrative, or they can cost you money in the end. there's no way to tell ahead of time. for an artist like me, it gives me an opportunity to be out in the public for a change, as opposed to working in my studio alone. but it is a gigantic heap of planning and work to participate. personally, i would never do a 1-day show. there's just too much involved in setting up and tearing down, to make the middle part worthwhile to me.
if you have any further questions about festivals, send me an email, or post a question here, and i'll try to answer as best i can. I hope this was helpful!

addendum

2011-10-16T09:41:00.002-04:00

I had an email asking why a biz plan is important. for creatives, the words "business plan" is as much a heart-stopper as my mother's Chicken Divine (which is not divine & involves a lot of mayo). If you have the luxury of time (or more forethought than I), try making a biz plan before you quit your day job. the benefits are immeasurable. I avoided a business plan like the plague, thinking "I'm just going to make my art and sell it places, so I don't need a plan...plans are for companies and corporations. you need a plan. Without one, you won't be able to forecast, purchase materials, have art ready for shows, know when & where the shows are, etc.
As I mentioned, Right Brain Business Plan is my new religion. (seriously - no affiliation). It is actually fun to do her plan - using art/collage to focus on who my perfect customer is, where he/she shops, what he/she does in their free time, vacations...etc. That one exercise helped me decide who I pictured as my perfect customer, and the rest fell into place - where to market my wares, when the best time of year would be to do that, what price points the market would bear, and on. buy this book. even if - and especially if - you have no idea what you want to do as an artist-as-a-career. If you get bored reading this blog and walk away, the single most important thing i can say is buy this book. again - i have no affiliation. and guess what? as I worked through her book, i realized that i really didn't want to market to the people i thought i did - that the time & money I'd need to invest just weren't worth the payoff, and the people i'd need to hang with were not my cup of tea. so i was able to refocus before i'd blundered.

the journey continues

2011-10-16T07:36:00.003-04:00

Banking. I never thought much about banking till i opened for business. the people at my bank were nice, and they always gave out dog treats at the drive-thru window, so i liked it there. but then i started thinking about getting a small loan to buy supplies for an opportunity i wanted to create, and guess what? i had no real income that a bank could point to. i had only been in business a little bit, had no real collateral they could repo, in case of default. so now what? In my area (Syracuse NY) we have a bank known as "the hippie bank." It was started in the 60's, i believe, by a couple of long-haired types that would set up a storefront to make loans to the hippies in this artsy area of town. it's now a bona fide banking co-op, that looks at the whole picture. they make loans to people who are doing social good, and the bank itself is involved with local projects that help their immediate area. they even match funds in your account. so that seemed like a no-brainer. see if there's something similar in your area. your bank should work for you. if they charge a fee for every little thing, they aren't earning your business. if they charge you a fee for not having enough money in the account, run. that is the ultimate disrespect, in my book. spend some time on this one...it's your money. and be certain they have free online banking. it's been a while since i've actually set foot in a bank, preferring the convenience of online. for me, i would rather pay $7 for a box of checks every so often, then get dinged for just thinking about the bank. there are also non-traditional, online-only banks. I would be certain they are FDIC insured, and get references from friends. you are sending your money to a faceless entity, that has no skin in the game - no brick-and-mortar structure they've built & hopefully care about. i know that sounds old fashioned, and certainly we've seen enough of the traditional banks fail, but these are my thoughts. and don't be afraid to change banks if they suddenly change their tune.
Along those lines, if you're thinking about accepting credit cards at shows or fairs, etc, i strongly recommend Square. With Square, you get a free card reader for your iPhone or Android phone, there is no monthly fee, or any other fee. you can accept any/every credit or debit card, and can send an email receipt to the purchaser right on the spot. there is only 1 charge, and that's 2.75% of the sale per swipe, or 3.25% if you manually key in the number. period. they send the funds to your bank the next day, then it's up to the bank to process the deposit & put it in your account, so count on 3 business days before you see it. you can have the device figure tax for you (!) and any time you want, it will convert your sales to a spreadsheet. i am absolutely satisfied with this. most standard credit card companies charge fees for everything - $700 or more for a swiper/reader, then you pay a processing fee, then you pay a clearinghouse, then there's a monthly fee (whether you've used it or not), and a contract. and sometimes the "company" is a kid in his bedroom with a computer, routing the information to the clearinghouse and collecting a percentage. for real. try getting ahold of him on Homecoming weekend when you have the sale of a lifetime, and the reader won't read. if i wanted to work for Visa, i would have applied there. 'nuff said about that. You should have an iPhone or Android phone. you will be away a lot, if you have a studio away from the house, or do fairs. this is a good business tool to help you keep on top of emails, websites, and banking, etc. i went in to buy an iPhone, and the clerk asked me what my use was. after a very thoughtful conversation, we analyzed the 2 for my usages, and found the Motorola Droid would be better for me. basically they have all the same functionality, and available apps. if carrying your music around is important to you, then the iPhone is a better choice. i don't care much about that, so the Droid was a better choice. and I could stay with my verizon contract. (although verizon now has an iPhone contract too). I cancelled my home landline, and upgraded to an unlimited voice/text/data account. It costs $250/month for 2 phones (i have my stepson under my account with his Blackberry). I'm not sure what 1 phone would cost. but - i end up paying $80 less than i would for a 1000 minute plan + a home landline. no brainer. and the only people who called the landline were political workers looking for a donation, and the NRA, so it was a double win. your phone is part of your new office. don't cheap out. can you imagine not being able to call back a client because you've used all your free minutes, and the cost of the call would eat your profit on the potential sale? you'd lose further sales from that client because you weren't reliable.
websites are a touchy subject with me. you absolutely need one. it is the thing i have put off the longest. there are a few places out there that allow you to set up a free one. my favorite is WIX. it's a drop-and-drag format, using their thousands of templates, or create your own. i recommend upgrading to the level that accepts e-commerce and does not have their ads on it. be sure you set it up so that it reflects you and your product. make it compelling, not just pretty. and make it easy to navigate. have someone try to navigate it before you go live. see where they stumble, and fix it. you need to find a good photographer who can style your product in the manner in which you want it perceived, and take an actual picture made for the web. for many months, my husband has thought he could build a light diffusion box, and do this for me. it remains undone. a good working relationship with a good photographer makes a big difference. after a few shoots, when he/she has a good feel for what you are looking for, it's possible to drop things off & pick them up later, rather than having to stick around for the whole shoot. even if the photographer is your best friend - this is business. have a written, clearly stated contract as to what work is to be done, the timeline, what you will get from it - ie: a CD of images, a thumbnail sheet of images (which is no good on it's own), what format the images will come in (hi-resolution, low-resolution, TIFF, etc), and if they will be archiving your images on their computer/keeping an extra disk there. the contract should have specifics about payment, and when payment is due, and if the images are not acceptable for any reason - is there still payment due for time spent setting up "sitting fee" if you will. This is important in all cases. if it is a friend, it will help keep the friendship, should something go awry. if it is not a friend, then it will detail what your expectations are, and protect you from being harassed for money they didn't earn. My friend Christine has a mantra i repeat whenever i'm headed into a business situation: contract contract contract. It doesn't need to be a huge legal document looking like the OJ trial. it is simply an agreement that includes the expectations of both parties...and be as specific as you can. if you've agreed to barter, write that into the contract. if you agree to pay 50% down, and the rest upon approval of the images, what happens to the 50% down if the images are unusable? never pay upfront. repeat: never pay upfront. ever. never. even your Uncle Morty. anyone who asks you to do that is not a professional, and you may as well send me the money for my birthday. once paid, there is no rush to get the job done, and if the job does get done, and it's a mess, you'll spend the rest of forever trying to get your money back. I use John Dowling as my photographer. he is an amazing photographer, who has many years experience in product photography, as well as landscapes and portrait. it's important to pick a photographer that specializes in product photography. I personally can shoot the daylights out of artsy, moody landscapes, but not my own necklaces. so i hire someone with a kick-ass studio & professional lighting and who knows an ISO from IPO. If you can't afford a professional (and it can be an expense), buy a good camera that's made for that type of photography, and take a course at your local BOCES or adult ed facility. This is something to take care of in the before-you-chuck-the-day-job category, if possible. also in the wish-I-woulda category.

so far, we have some good resources:
SBDC for small business advice
Right Brain Business Plan book
Banks
Square Credit card swipers
Wix websites
Photographers

I'll take a sideways trip here and talk about something you should think hard about before you decide to start a business: reality.
In her book, Right Brain Business Plan, Jennifer Lee has a chapter that has you analyze the competition. this was a dual win for me. It helped me see what a potential competitor looked liked, sold like, and how successful they were, but it also made me think about the reality of my work being sustainable as an income. not to downgrade my work, but to look at it in a retail/wholesale light. is it something that could sell many many "units," (to be cold about it.) is it something that can be freshened up to be a familiar, but different product? Can i physically keep up with demand with the design the way it is? Is there a demand (outside friends & family) in the market i want to target? Do I want to reconsider the product altogether, or are their things i can tweak to make it marketable? You need to be as cold-hearted as possible when you determine these things. it is your future. if you are making teddy bears to sell at craft fairs, what sets yours apart? why would someone buy your teddy bear, as opposed to someone else's? there has to be a compelling reason for people to part with their money today. and it is your job to make your product so compelling that there is no question that they would. especially if there is a glut of your type of product on the market. you may have sold 20 scarves to your co-workers because they admired your handknit one. but if you leave your job, are you also leaving your customer base? would you have to price your scarves so high now, that the average person would go to Target and buy a $5 Mossimo instead? what separates you? and if you have a compelling product, and have done some research, would you be able to produce enough of it on time to meet a demand/deadline? I recently declined a huge opportunity because it would be my full time job just making necklaces for that 1 client. and after running the numbers, it wouldn't pay off. plus i would be at their beck-and-call to suddenly & without warning, make 50 necklaces. i am my only employee, and it's my choice not to hire anyone to help with the actual crafting of my work. (now, someone to help with shipping would be a dream). so be totally realistic. and ask a panel of people (focus group) in the demographic you want to reach. focus groups are easily formed, and should not be family members. they love everything you do. Who is your target buyer? where do they hang out? if you want to sell hand cream to senior citizens, go to a senior day center and ask the director if you can have a group try your cream. have it packaged as it will appear on the shelf. have as many scents available as you plan to sell. have a short, targeted list of questions to ask them afterwards. they may all tend to agree with one another, if giving their answers out loud, but listen to the comments, and side comments, and facial expressions - this is just as telling as answering how much they would pay for it. then give them each a small tester size for helping you. it is important to thank anyone & everyone for any help they give you. it is good mmanners, and it is respectful. follow up with a nice note to the center, and they will remember you and talk about you. and it's just the right thing to do. it's essential that your focus group include your targeted demographic. you may want to throw a few wild cards in from a group that is on the fringes of your target, just to see their reactions...maybe, with a new package and marketing, the same product can appeal to a wider audience. But - can you produce enough?

so that is all i have time for this morning....later or tomorrow, i'll talk more about advertising, corporate ID, marketing. Also, backtrack a bit and talk about art festivals vs art shows vs websites etc...how you plan to sell your work.

Thank you to those who have checked in, and also to those who have emailed questions. According to my statcounter, there have been over 200 people reading this. (a business tool I mentioned!) so feel free to ask questions.

now some deets

2011-10-15T17:21:00.002-04:00

A Business Plan. Just the words sent a chill up my spine as visions of spreadsheets and pivot tables and MATH swirled through my brain. and how was i supposed to project next quarter's revenues, when i didn't even know who, what or where i was going to be selling? then i realized it was a Plan For My Business. i have a coffee mug that says "no goals, no glory." then it became less scary, and coincidentally, i found a book called the Right Brain Business Plan, by Jennifer Lee. I highly recommend it whether your business is art or computer tech. it is a plan for your business, done in a way that is un-scary, easy, and actually fun. every morning, i would devote the 1st two hours to it. don't skip over anything. and i now have a plan. a karate instructor i worked for had a saying: Plan the work, then work the plan. simple, yes? yes.when i got to the part about finances and banking and loans, i was stumped. so i called on my friend Joan from the Small Business Development Center. There is an SBDC or something similar in every area. It's free advice, and it's good advice. Use their knowledge. This ties in with the "you can't do it alone" bullet point. Being a sole proprietor will have you wearing many hats until you can afford to hire employees - if you ever plan to. you will be the designer, the craftsperson, the marketing person, the media buyer, the accountant, the inventory clerk, and the sales rep. On top of your usual household duties. you simply cannot do it alone. and you shouldn't - it leads to tunnel vision. having advice from the outside helps you see things in a different way. if you don't have computer skills, learn them from adult ed or from a free computer lab. or barter with someone who knows Excel - have them teach you. you need to have these skills in order to keep control of your own business, and to be able to quickly respond to changing opportunities. bartering is a good way to get things/knowledge/help in exchange for what you need. be sure the terms of the barter are very clear and acceptable to both parties...if your paintings sell for $2500, and someone offers to trade a painting for goods or services worth much less, that isn't acceptable. ask them how much they would charge you for xyz, and if it more than you can afford, ask if they would accept a trade for abc. negotiate the trade. and if you can't come to a reasonable, friendly agreement, then see if you can make payments, or find another source. Accept help & advice, but remember it's your business, and you are ultimately responsible. if it doesn't ring true to you, let it pass.
That bit ties in with start up money. it's often very tempting to chuck the 9-5 to start your own business. you imagine how great it will be to be your own boss, captain of the ship, working your own hours. but truth be told, the business works you too. especially if you haven't prepared financially with start up costs and savings enough to tide you through your first year of business AND household expenses. it will take about a year to get everything rolling and a trickle of steady income headed in. start saving. every time you want a cup of Starbucks, ask yourself if that $5 cup of coffee is worth more to you than owning your own business. really. get down to that level. because that's where the frippery starts. that's $100 bucks a month if you buy 1 coffee a day, monday-friday. same with lunch. can i tell you how many $10 tuna sandwiches i've bought at the local sandwich shop when i worked in the cube farm? bento. keep a separate savings account to put x-number of dollars away every payday. find 1 or 2 things you really can do without buying during the week, and put that amount in the account.
learn Excel, and Quickbooks or some accounting program. these are invaluable. you can get free 30-day copies online, along with free tutorials. i prefer the older versions of Excel as they are easier to navigate. one spreadsheet can be the psychic of your business...with one click, you can see where most of your money is spent, and where most of your money comes in. focus on both. if you are dancing with joy over how much you made at a craft fair, take a look at the spreadsheet before spending a nickel. you may find that the costs involved for entry fees, booth fees, meals, lodging, gas, tent, and all the incidentals leave little, if any, profit. (this year has been particularly devastating for the art & craft fair vendors.) but that little store downtown may be placing consistent orders from you, or has generated interest from other stores. use these tools to pick apart every aspect of your business. if you have a website (and you must), there are free programs you can run that will tell you how many hits you have per day, which day, which hour, where they are coming from, etc., much like Statcounter does for blogs. if you see that most of your hits are in the evening, have fresh merch up by afternoon. if most of your hits are on a tuesday, then advertise a special deal for the following day that uses a code they got on tuesday. reward return customers. or find out why most of your hits are on a tuesday...is that the day you post to your blog and link to the website? Excel is a powerful business tool. And accounting software is essential, even if you have an accountant. you need to be able to flip open your laptop and see the numbers at any time, in order to be flexible.
The Big Calendar...yes, i know, we're all electronic now and have pop-up calendar items and schedules and what-not. but i'm telling you, there's nothing like seeing the month in front of you in writing. it helps to visually plan. and, should you get the Blue Screen Of Death, at least you'll know where you should have been instead of where you were, which is weeping in front of the computer store. I also have Carbonite as a backup in case of failure, or if i get a new computer. one click, and it delivers all your info back onto the screen. even your desktop looks the same. best $59 i ever spent. yes - $59. and it's deductible. That's another thing i forgot to mention - deductions. before you count on deducting your car, house, new computer, or even a ream of copy paper - talk to a good accountant who has experience with small business. i love my personal accountant, but am not comfortable with his small business skills. so i hired someone just for the business. one of the contract points i have with him is that he has to coordinate with the other accountant regarding where some of these write offs will occur. i have a room in my house that's completely and solely dedicated to my business. not an inch of it has any other purpose. but because i have a d/b/a status, my taxes are prepared differently than if i incorporated. seek guidance. the IRS gets real un-funny about things. and stay organized. have folders for everything, paper and electronic.
i have a file for receipts in date order for jewelry supplies, another for office supplies, another for gas receipts & mileage, another for postage - including delivery confirmations with the name of the person i sent it to on it. I have files for art opportunities such as shows, competitions, forms to submit, confirmations received, rejection letters...anything to do with an opportunity to show my art. another file holds similar folders for business opportunities. i break my business down into those two categories - art shows, and art selling. you can set yours up any way that makes sense to you and will be easy to put your hands on when you need to.
okay, now i have a howling dog, and a grumpy stomach - must be dinnertime. see you back here later on, or tomorrow, depending on how much more work i get done.
my plan is to talk about banking, and some specific websites and products that have made my life easier.
hope you've been able to pick up a pointer or two that helps you!

the Journey

2011-10-15T08:23:00.002-04:00

ok - here goes...in typical rambling fashion, I'll share what I know, spill my guts, empty my notebooks - you get the point. Again, I want to stress that this is not a how-to, I am not a professional business adviser, and what may work for me may be a disaster for you...I'm just sharing. A lot of the info I've learned from other people, books, workshops, speakers, websites, etc., and I do not get kickbacks, special favors, cupcakes, etc from any of them. If they work, they work. I will credit them where I am able to remember, bearing in mind that menopause can do some tricky things to the memory. Also, (and I stress this because I am a Very Firm believer in giving credit where credit is due. Very Strict), if I got the same info from more than one source, and you are that source, and I forget to give you credit - please email me so I can make this right. Now I've made this sound bigger than it is. And although this is from an art-as-career point of view, parts of this really are pertinent to many entrepreneurial start ups.
the short version of me: I have made art all of my life, in some form. I became serious about being an artist 25-30 years ago, but really didn't think being an artist was a "real" job - it's something Women Who Married Well did, because they have the luxury of a husband's income/trust fund/hedge fund/whatever. finally 10 years ago, I decided to sell my house, buy a 2-family house, and let the rental income pay the mortgage. and become a full time artist. as i looked for 2-family houses, I met & married my current husband, and all those art plans got set aside while we settled into being married & i became a stepmother to 2 kids, 3 dogs and a total post-wedding Becky Home-ecky Syndrome victim. Fast forward 10 years - kids in college, only have 1 dog and 1 cat. i had been making art more seriously in the past few years, and had had shows from NY to LA. I sat in my cube at the office thinking, "What are you waiting for??" and the thought of doing another month of spreadsheets was more than i could tolerate. i stood up, walked into the boss' office and said, "I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving." i left 2 weeks later, with $600 in savings, an incredulous husband, and a gritty determination.
In retrospect, maybe not the way to do things, but it was 10 years coming, so logic had left me. there was full-on bliss. for a day. then cold sweat. the very first day as a Full Time Artist, my mechanic advised me i needed $2K worth of brakes & miscellany that day if my car was to sport a new inspection sticker where he'd torn off the old one. i plotzed. wept. got busy.
so as of 4/1/11 I became a full time artist as my day job . Yes, just a few months. but believe me, i've ramped up quickly, out of necessity.
now to the down & dirty of being an artist as a chosen career.

First, here is a typical day - and I might add here that my weeks are monday-sunday, and i've had 7 actual full days off since april, and 2 half days, and also that I am lucky to have a 22x22 studio in my home, so there is no commuter time, but it is also always there taunting me:
wake up at 3am, make coffee, feed animals, let dog out, clean up after bulimia cat, hit the studio. work on quieter things until husband is up, then switch over to metal pounding and can turn on music. take a nap at 6am-6:15am, work, nap at 9am-9:15, work, lunch (sometimes when blood sugar demands) around noon-ish, walk dog, clean up after cat, back in studio. at 2:00, i usually take a real nap till 3, then work until 6-ish. make dinner, take care of animals, back in studio till 11pm. rinse & repeat. It's how my body works best, as I have bouts with fibromyalgia and CFS.
on thursdays, i try to catch up on emails, blogs, check banking, get to post office to mail out orders, clean house, do laundry, and chat with friends on a headset phone while doing all of the above. This is not a whine-fest, just the facts.

now, the business of the business... things I wish I knew.
*have a business plan
*have start-up capital
*have an accounting system
*have a good calendar with big squares (old school paper calendar hung on the wall. trust me)
*it's hard work...the cube farm will frequently look like a paid vacation. have a business plan to make it all so much easier.
*you must be as organized as a person with OCD
*you must be realistic about your goals, your talent, your shortcomings, your strong points & weak points, your available time to invest in your business, your ability to design/make/market/ship enough "product" in a timely fashion.
*plan to grow slow - like a good romance, taking it slow will allow you to test the waters and make moves you are comfortable with. it will allow growth that won't overwhelm you.
*have your personal core values solid, and prioritize (and family should be first on that list).
*Create a space in your home, or rent a studio/office that is JUST for your business. if it's in your home, it is essential that there is a door that locks.
*although, like me, you may work in your studio in baggy sweats or a bathrobe, whenever you leave the house, have a professional image. Always. you really truly never know when you'll run into a client, potential client, old boyfriend.
*along those same lines, always be nice. that person you flipped off in traffic because you were late for the sales call? surprise - she may be the buyer. and it just feels so good to be nice. best advice i've gotten from my late father (a remarkable, award-winning salesman): be careful how you treat people on your way up - they're the same ones you'll meet on your way down.
*you cannot do this on your own. have a group of trusted friends, business mentors, bankers, accountants, your spouse all ready to rally. Reach out to them when you have a question in their specialty. Be professional with the professionals, though...even if the banker is your buddy, you may need a loan (soon) and if you've spent all your time crying on their shoulder about how bleak things look, there's not a great chance they'll give you a loan.
*Learn to say no. learn to be firm. there will be any number of worthy organizations asking for a donation of your art for their auction. these generally do nothing to get your name out, as they allude to. unless it is a charity you strongly affiliate with, learn to say a gracious "so sorry, no." Likewise the number of friends that will expect discounts and freebies and bridesmaids gifts, etc. This is your business. your sole income. do not undervalue yourself and give it away. if they value your work enough, they will purchase it. if not, they just wanted something free.
*don't overpromise & underdeliver. make your delivery timeline realistic. it is worse to overpromise a delivery & not make it, than it is to renegotiate a delivery time, or let the opportunity go. it is only an opportunity to get your name removed from a clients go-to list if you can't realistically deliver the goods on time, and as promised. you'll create more problems for them.
*always carry a notebook, pen/pencil, 3x5 cards, biz cards, and something from your product line, if possible. i always leave the house with an eyecatching piece of my jewelry on. something to start a conversation. it's easier for me to point to what i make, then to try to explain it. and buyers grocery shop too, so you may cinch a meeting over the rutabagas. it could happen.
*the Elevator Speech...make one, learn it, practice it, have it on a 3x5 card on the bathroom mirror. it is a 30-second synopsis of your business, and how it can help a buyer. yes - 30-seconds. make it work, people. Listeners want to be talkers - they want to talk about their favorite topic, themselves. so you have about 30-seconds to get your message across in a friendly, conversational way. after that, according to science, they tune you out.
*be flexible and have a Plan B.

okay - that's all i have time to do right now - that's a basic outline of what I'll be writing about in more detail. tomorrow (or later, if i get my project done)I'll flesh out the bullet points. i hope i haven't bored you - hope you'll find some timesavers & good resources here in the next few days. Please feel free to email or comment if there is a specific question you want me to address, and I'll do my best!